What happens when Vegeta trys to be a good parent?
by Toon-Alligator
Summary: Vegeta trys to act like a big bad dad and sends Trunks away. But without Trunks, things go crazy!! Bulma get's kidnapped by a fat bald man and when she returns, he decided to work at Man's best Friend! Vegeta screws up & Bulma leaves him. Will she return?
1. Trunks gets sent away! The poor guy!

Dusclaimer: I dont own Dragonball Z.  
  
READ THIS BEFORE READING THE CHAPTER!!!!=This is Part 2 of Vegeta Becomes a Bookworm. You don't have to read it before reading this one, because I made it pretty easy to understand. You can flame, thats okay, but not about stupid stuff like the ages arent right, or Vegeta's not mean enough. If you do that, and you think Vegeta's mean, I can be meaner. =)  
  
Chapter 1  
  
vegeta was reading the newspaper. The top headline was something about a dead dog best freind to a boy. The article almost brought tears to his eyes. Many years ago, Vegeta had become obsessed with reading. he had read anything he could get his hands on. But after his dog Rex was ran over by a car, he stopped reading. Newspapers were the only things he could read. A few things were different now from then, though. Trunks was 17 and obsessed with the fact that 'no one understood him'. That was the only thing he ever said. And Vegeta got his little girl. she was 7 years old and named Bulla. She had blue hair and her mother's blue eyes and she wore her hair in a ponytail on top of her head. She wore pink and blue dress with a green elephant on the front of it. She was watching a show on TV called 'Unicorns love you'. Vegeta personally hated the show but he liked to make Bulla happy. But lately the show had gotten a little violent. "Papa?" Bulla asked in her shrill voice. "What is it, Princess? Papa's reading the newspaper." She pointed at the TV. "Why did the unicorn GORE the hunter with her horn?" Vegeta looked up from his paper where a coil of shiny pink intestines were sitting by a tree and a unicorn was laughing. "Um, why don't we change this?" He asked. "It's a little.......um.....bloody." Bulla layed on her stomach and swung her feet. Vegeta turned it to Cartoon Network's Tom and Jerry, and went back to reading the paper. Bulma came in from grocery shopping. "Hey." Vegeta said, and he turned the page. "You haven't read the front article, have you?" Bulma asked. She looked really young for her age. She didn't want Vegeta to read it because it would make him sad. "Yes, I saw it." Vegeta said. "But I didn't read it." Bulma looked at the TV where Bulla was watching the cartoon cat, Tom, bang the cartoon mouse, Jerry, on the head. "TV is so violent." Bulma said. "No wonder so many kids grow up to be mass murderers." Bulla was drawing a picture, so Bulma went over to see what it was. It was a shiny pink unicorn. A shiny pink unicorn with a very sharp horn. A shiny pink unicorn with a very sharp horn that was droven through a hunters chest. Bulma ripped the paper away. "Why are you drawing things like this?!" Bulma asked. Bullla looked up innocently. "I saw it on TV. Papa turned it off, though." Vegeta smiled behind his paper. Then he set it down as Trunks walked in. "Hi, Trunks!" Said Bulla. Trunks grunted. He spent every waking moment of 6 days a week training to be the owner of Capsule Corporation. But today was his day off. Now he looked really handsome, like his father. "Im going to Goten's after breakfast." trunks said. "We're going to see a movie." Bulma shook her head. "Oh no your not." She said. "You still haven't completed your homework, and your room looks like a pig sty!" trunks barely looked up from the TV. "So? What does it matter?" he yawned. "Listen to your mother so she'll shut up." Said Vegeta. He was trying to watch TV. His attitude had gotten much better toward his family, but sometimes he was mean. about 50% of the time. Bulla went to go eat some Fruity Pebbles because she was hungry, so Vegeta had to go in with her to get them down because she was so short. He was short, too, but he could fly up. Bulla had no desire to learn to fly. Or fight. vegeta got them down for Bulla. "Papa?" Bulla asked. "Yes, princess?" Vegeta asked. "Can we go shopping today? I want to see if they have a Fluffy Unicorn shirt at Kids R Us." Bulla got anything she wanted. And I mean ANYTHING. "Sure. " Vegeta said. "What time do you want to go?" Bulla looked at the clock. "When Im done, Okay Papa?" Vegeta nodded. "Im going to go train with trunks. Come and get me when your ready."  
  
Vegeta went outside and called for Trunks. trunks flew immediatly. "Let's go train!" Vegeta said. "I'm bored." Trunks threw down a Playboy magazine. "Fine. Whatever. Nobody cares what I think anyway." He stalked outside. "Were you reading one of my........magazines, son?" Trunks nodded. "Yeah,so?" There was a famililer smell on his breath. "Were you smoking again?!" Vegeta screamed. Vegeta smoked once in a while, but lately they'd been catching Trunks doing the habit. "Yeah, what if I was? It's not like you care about me getting lung cancer." trunks jammed his hands in his pockets. "besides, I can do anything I want because I'm an adult." Vegeta's face turned red because he was getting so mad. "trunks, while your living in this house, BUMMING off of me and Bulma when you know D*mn well you can get a job, you have to follow our rules." Trunks looked at the ground. "Let's just go train so I can get it over with and have a smoke." Vegeta realized something else. "Where are you getting the MONEY for these so called Smokes?" trunks shrugged, a very familier guesture. "I just got a couple dollars from mother's purse." Vegeta was inraged. "You do NOT steal money from your mother's purse!" he was so angry he didn't wait until they arrived at the gravity chamber. He launched himself at Trunks and whacked into him, sending them both rolling on the ground down a hill. trunks, extremely strong for his age, was very mad and didn't hesitate to fight back. "You got GRASS on my jacket!" trunks roared. He punched Vegeta in the face. Blood splattered Vegeta's vision. He was about to uinleash a horrible attack on Trunks, but then Trunks yowled. Trunks jumped up off the ground and cradled his arm. "What happened, son?" vegeta asked. he was afraid he broke trunks' arm and they might have to go to the hospital. "I hit my funny bone!" trunks said. "And it wasn't funny! Forget it dad, I don't want to train with you! I'm going to get money out of Bulla's piggy bank and buy cigerattes." He stormed off. "If you steal money from your little sister's piggy bank, I'll hurt you horribly!" Vegeta yelled, shaking a fist. So Trunks decided to steal money from Bulma again. he didn't care what his parents said. He wasn't afraid of THEM.  
  
"We have GOT to do something with Trunks." Vegeta said. "He's getting out of control. Remember when he was eight, and mindless threats used to work? Well now, they don't!" Vegeta remembered threatening Trunks to get his way. "He has a very familier attitude." Bulma said. She was doing her fingernails. "YOUR like that. A misanthrope." Vegeta didn't say anything. "He's smoking again." "What?" Bulma asked. "His teeth are going to get all yellow!" vegeta was so stressed right now, a cigeratte sounded great. "Yes. And he's taking money out of your purse." Vegeta lit up a cigeratte, but Bulma grabbed it and put it out. "Thanks." Vegeta said guiltily. "No way!" Bulma said. "Not TRUNKS." "yes, Trunks." Vegeta said, in an annoyed tone. "he threatened to steal money from Bulla's piggy bank. He's supposed to be her role model and everything." The phone rang. Bulma answered it. "Hello?" She asked into the phone. "It's Goten." Said a voice. "I need to see Trunks. We were supposed to go to a movie, but he never showed." Goten sounded bored. Or high. "Trunks will be over later." Bulma said, hanging up. "I'll just let him go." Bulma said. "He will go without my permission anyway." Vegeta didn't think it was fair that he had to learn so much to be a Prince, like how to act, and Trunks got away with murder. Then he got an idea.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Trunks said. Vegeta was chasing Trunks down the halls. "I won't go! NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He shot a power blast at his dad. By the explosion of the vase, it was a pretty big one, too. "Yes you will!" Vegeta said. "Your going tomarrow night!" Trunks shook his head. "Im not going to BOOT CAMP! NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He spat, hoping it would hit Vegeta in the face. It did. Vegeta wiped it away with a glove. Vegeta was going to send Trunks to a Boot Camp. Trunks obviously didn't like the idea. "Trunks, if you would slow down, it would take you shorter time to pack." "IM NOT PACKING BECAUSE IM NOT GOING!" Even though Trunks was very strong, Vegeta was stronger and faster still. So he flew as fast as he could and tackled Trunks. He Held him down. "Now go in your room and pack or I'll forbid you to ever date again!" He screamed. Trunks got up and slumped into his room. "No one understands me!" He roared. "NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He slammed the door so fast the ground shook. "Soooo...is he going to pack?" Bulma asked. Vegeta nodded and wiped sweat off his head. "Look at the pretty color of my nails." Bulma said, showing him. "Thats really great." Vegeta said. "I have to go shopping with Bulla. She's probley waiting in her room." She had told him she was ready a long time ago, but he was busy fighting with Trunks. So he'd told her to wait. He knocked on her door. "Is that you, Papa?" She asked through the wooden door. "Yes, Princess." Vegeta said. She opened the door , and Vegeta stepped inside. Trunks had the first upstairs bedroom. He had had it since he was born. Bulla had the 2nd largest room on the second floor. The 3 other rooms on the top floor were visitor rooms. Once when Goku and his family had to stay with the Breifs(In part one of this story) they had stayed in those rooms. There was 4 other vacant rooms downstairs. The only occupied downstairs bedroom was Vegeta and Bulma's the master bedroom. There was a wraparound balconey in the house where you could see up to the second floor. Bulla's room was pink and blue mostly, her favorite colors, and decorated in elephants. Those were her favorite animal. She had a 27 inch Tv and VCR, DVD player and Cable Box all in her room. She was spoiled rotten. She also had a large sterio and computer. "Are you ready to go?" She asked. Vegeta nodded. "What was all that thumping and stuff I heard?" Bulla asked, pulling on a pink jacket. "We were chasing down your brother." Vegeta said. "We're trying to make him goooo.." Vegeta trailed off. "Go where?" Bulla asked. Vegeta was feeling guilty, but then he saw Bulla's fancy piggy bank and remembered Trunks' intention to rob it. Then his anger came flushing back. "He's going away for a while. He has some issues that he needs to work out." Bulla was sad. "Poor Trunks." They heard Trunks' door slam. "Im going to see Piccolo." he said. Vegeta sighed. Piccolo was into everything Trunks was. Alchohal and everything. Vegeta heard Bulma nag at Trunks. Just the sound of her nagging voice made Vegeta cringe. "Stop nagging on him." Vegeta said from in Bulla's room through the opened door. Bulla grabbed Vegeta's hand because she was ready to go. Bulma stuck her head in. "He's going to see that Piccolo again. The one who has a job at a GAS STATION and lives in a GHETTO?!" Vegeta shrugged. "If he wants to be killed in a driveby, I say let him. And at least Piccolo HAS a job. Trunks won't get off his @$$ and do anything except train, eat and gripe." Vegeta walked past Bulma. "And when you nag on him, it makes him want to blow your head off. You don't know HOW many times I've had to restrain myself! Once, I actually lit a powerball. I was about to launch it, but then I stopped myself. I was like, 'Ohmygoshohmygosh'." Vegeta opened the front door. Majin Buu was standing in the doorway. (The fat one) "Hi. Buu want Candy. Vegeta have candy or cake for Buu?" Vegeta pushed past Buu. "No. Make your own candy." "Dont make Buu get mad and make other mad Buu." Vegeta sighed. "Bulma, get Majin Buu some candy." Bulma headed toward the kitchen. Vegeta tried again to go out, but Buu stopped him again. "Can you pick up some sugar for Buu? Buu wants to make cookies." Vegeta nodded, and quickly, him and Bulla ducked into their shiny black convertable. Vegeta didn't feel like flying today because he was so tired. Trunks came up and knocked on the window. "Drive me over to Goten's, will ya?" He asked. You could tell he was still angry about where he was going soon. "I might as well enjoy some liberty before my freedom is snatched." He said grimly, and swung his legs over the convertible door. He landed in the seat beside Bulla. "hey sis." He said, before lighting up. "Put that out." Vegeta snapped. "That smoke is harmful to Bulla." Trunks mocked Vegeta's mouth movements and threw the butt out the door. "See, I'm about to go away and you still can't be nice." Trunks said. He put his feet on the back of vegeta's driver's seat. Vegeta decided to keep his mouth shut. But the bottom of his shoes were really nasty. "Do you have a suitcase packed?" Vegeta asked. The moment he said it he knew it was the wrong thing.  
  
After 30 minutes of bickering, Vegeta Bulla and Trunks arrived at The Son's house. Chi Chi was hanging up clothes. Vegeta raised a hand to her. She waved. "Hi Trunks! Hi Vegeta!" She said. "Hi Bulla!" There was a car in the driveway. Gohan and Videl, with Pan of course, were visiting. Goten, Gohan and Pan stepped out. Gohan's thick glasses made Trunks laugh. "Hi guys." Trunks said, swinging over the car door. "Are you staying, Vegeta?" Chi Chi asked. "Nope. Me and Bulla are going shopping." He started his engine up. "See you guys later." He decided to leave before Videl came out. He really didn't like her. Besides the fact he thought she was hot so he acted weird around her. He was kinda a pervert, as you learned in the last story. He was also a terrible driver. So as they sped on the freeway, Bulla tried to keep from puking. Bulma got carsick easy so there were barfbags in the car always. Vegeta was troubled about trunks as boot camp. Trunks had the excact same attitude Vegeta used to have, not wanting to listen to anybody or anything. If he mouthed off at boot camp, it could seriously smart. "Thats right! We have to get your brother clothes and Boots for where he's going." Bulla wanted to know where he was going. "He's going to Boot Camp." Vegeta said. He didn't think Bulla knew what it was. "I saw that on Jenny Jones." Bulla said. "Why do you want to send Trunks to a place where men are going to slap him?" Vegeta gripped the steering wheel really hard, and a large crack appeared. "Opps." He said. "Well, Trunks has problems." Vegeta explained. "He's a rebel; and he thinks everyone has to see him as a bad boy. And one of his friends is gay." Vegeta wasn't too fond of gay people. He pulled up in a Toys R Us parking lot. It was really crowded, especially because it was Barbies on Sale day. Every Sunday. Bulla was rattling off the things she wanted. "I want a Ken and his new partner doll..." She noticed Vegeta was looking at someone in the crowd. "He looks familier....." Vegeta said. he searched his mind for people who fit this discription. "Maybe its Dende! No, he's green. Maybe, its Doofy(A cop who was in Vegeta Becomes a Bookworm)." But it coulden't be Doofy, because Doofy wasn't as handsome as this person. "Oh!" Bulla said, tugging on Vegeta's pants. "Papa, thats the guy in the picture on the fire place. The Saiyan you met in jail?" Vegeta nodded. (In Vegeta becomes a bookworm, Vegeta meets a Saiyan named Akurei) Vegeta ran over to him. "Hey!" He said. Akurei looked at Vegeta strangly. He had hair that resembled S.S Goku's, but it was black. He was handsome and muscular and tall. he had a black haired little boy in his hands that wore a great big frown. "You look familer." Akurei said in his French accent. "But I just can't.......VEGETA!" He said. he hugged Vegeta. "Oh, Its you!" Vegeta backed away. "Im happy to see you too." Bulla was hiding behind Vegetas leg. "This is my son!" Akurei said. "I got him from screwing some broad. Cant remember her name for the life of me.....anyway, his name is Kilo." "Um, hello Kilo." Vegeta said. "This is my daughter, Bulla." Akurei nodded. "I trust your nicer to your family now?" Earlier when they had met, Akurei seemed troubled by the fact that Vegeta was mean to Bulma sometimes. "A little." Vegeta said. Akurei shrugged. "You win some, you lose some. Like that one time I got three holes blasted through me. Geez, that was painful." Vegeta nodded. He wasn't one to talk. "Let's go, papa." Bulla said, tugging on his pants. Vegeta tried not to let it annoy him. "In a minute." He said. Bulla waited unpatienly. "How old is......Kilo?" Vegeta asked. "He's seven." Akurei said. "I think. But watch what he can do." Akurei put him down and waved a hand at the boy. The boy's hair was like Super Saiyan Goku's except black also. He had a brown Monkey tail.Then, he did something amazing! He went SUPER SAIYAN! "Is that a Super Saiyan?" Bulla asked. "Isn't he awfully little?" Kilo's hair looked the same, except it was blonde. He still wore that same frown. "Why's he so upset?" Vegeta asked. "He didn't get what he wanted for his birthday, so we're going to exchange it." The cute little boy went back to normal stage and flew up and sat down on Akurei's shoulders. "Lets go daddy." Kilo said. He had the same french accent his father had. He was eyeing Bulla. They decided to walk through the store together. "I want to look at the barbies!" Bulla said, tugging Vegeta one way. "I want to look at the dinosaurs!" Kilo said, yanking Akurei's hair. They both looked at eachother. "First, we're going to the Barbies." Bulla said. "No." Kilo said. "We're going to the dinosaurs because BARBIES are for GIRLS. BABYS!!!!!!" Bulla burst into tears. "he called me a baby! Well, Kilo, your a Dumb@ss!" Kilo went Super Saiayn and pushed Bulla. Vegeta got really ticked. He lost his temper temporarily, and shoved jackson so hard he flew into a toy display. "NOBODY pushes me." Bulla said, sticking out her tongue. Akurei went and picked up Kilo."Try not to do that again, Okay?" He asked.  
  
They compromised by going to the Jurrasic Park Barbies first. Bulla picked out one in slutty clothes that came with a cute dinosaur. Kilo grumbled through the intire thing. Akurei repeatedly told him to shut up. Kilo was mad at Bulla. "Your name means bra." KIlo sneered. "My daddy's name means Vegetable." Bulla said prodly. "And my moms and Brothers names mean underwear." Akurei was embarrased. "My name means demon." he said. Kilo was sad because he was the only one who's name was boring. Bulla picked out 7 more Barbies. Kilo stood there with that Oh-so-familier frown on his face. "Okay, Kilo." Akurei said. "Let's go look at your dinosaurs." Kilo was happy, and he zipped around all the aisles. vegeta and Akurei were forced to take flight to keep up with him, so Vegeta snatched up Bulla and they flew and caught up. Akurei was angry. "Iv'e told you not to run off like that." Kilo stopped flying. He looked guilty. "Sorry, dad. " He picked up a T-rex toy. "I want to get this." He said. The dinosaur's teeth really came out, and it came with a little hunter that launched a spear. The toy btought back memorys for Vegeta. "I remember those toys." he chuckled. "My son had one when he was five years old. He used to torture people with it." Akurei nodded. "I remember that. And he launched it at Piccolo's head and knocked him out?" Vegeta nodded. "That was it." Kilo was shaking the box. The T-Rex was falling out of its plastic packaging. "Stop that!" Akurei snapped, and he slapped Kilo across the head. He frowned and floated up on to his daddy's back. Bulla was playing with a stuffed animal nearby. "Papa, can I get this?" She asked. It was a Fluffy Unicorn doll. "Of course you can." Vegeta said. "You can have anything you want." Bulla walked up to a strange looking African-American guy. He was wearing a snow hat. He handed her a joint. "You want somma dis, little miss?" Bulla looked exited. "Can I get this, Papa?" he stared in awe at what Bulla had. "BULLA!" He screamed. She was suprised. She'd never been yelled at by Vegeta for as long as she could remember. She didn't know why he was yelling, because Vegeta hadn't taught her about drugs or sayin no to strangers yet. Vegeta snatched it away. "Hey, thats mine!" Bulla screamed. She started crying, and immediatly Vegeta felt terrible. For a moment he considered giving it back. "Um, You can't have it, Princess." Vegeta said. "Why not?" Bulla asked. "You said I could get anything I wanted." Vegeta coulden't think of anything to say. "Well, you don't talk to strangers." Vegeta said. He eyed the Strange looking guy, and he was chuckling. "What, you think it's funny?" Vegeta asked. "Hold on, Bulla." Vegeta said. He flew over to the African Americn and socked him in the stomach. Blood flew out of his mouth and splattered on to the tile. "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU............." He said, and he fainted. "That'll teach him." Vegeta said. If he wasn't in front of Bulla, he probably wouldv'e killed the guy.  
  
"So you never talk to strangers because they might want to hurt you?" Bulla asked. They were still standing in the store, and Kilo and Akurei were being very patient. "Yes." Vegeta said. "That's right. And also, Don't take anything from them. That thing that guy just gave you was very bad, and it couldev'e killed you." Bulla nodded. "Okay." She fingered the fringe on her dress. "Can we go home now? I'm tired." Vegeta nodded. "he wasn't really ready to go home, where Trunks would more than likely be, because he didn't want to hear Trunks' crap. But then again, he HATED shopping.  
  
Akurei and Kilo decided to ride home with Vegeta and Bulla. The small car was crowded, but they all managed to fit." There's no BOYS my age to play with." Kilo whined on the way. "All the people at their house are probably old." Vegeta resented that. "Im not THAT old." Vegeta said. "I still fight." Kilo shrugged. "Whatever you say." He gazed out the window. Kilo had a nice vocabulary for his age. They drove up into Vegeta and Bulma's large driveway. "You look so nice." Bulla said to one of her Barbies. I wonder how Ken would look?" Bulma was outside watering her flowers in a strapless sun dress. She waved at the car as it came up the drive way. "Hey guys!" She said. She ran over to greet Vegeta. Then, she noticed two other people in the back seat. "I know you.". Bulma said. "But I can't remember for the life of me who you are....." Then it hit her. "Akurei!" She said, shaking his hand. She wasn't a big hugger person unless she was involved with the 'victim'. "Hi." Akurei said. "Your Bulma, right? Vegeta's old ditzy wife?" She nodded. "Yep, thats me! How could you tell?" "You dont look any different." Akurei said. He noticed how incredibly good she looked for her age. Trunks and Goten stepped out of the house. "Who're these bums?" Trunks asked. He didn't remember Akurei from his 5-year-old age the last time he saw him. They all just ignored them both. "Who's the little boy?" Bulma asked. She thought he was so cute. "This is Kilo, my little boy." Akurei said. Kilo really liked Bulma. "Can I have a cookie?" Kilo asked. "My, what a rude little boy to run in someone's house and ask for a cookie." Bulma said. "But aw well. Knock yourself out." She told Goten to get him a cookie, and Goten did. "Like I said, who ar these bums?" Trunks asked. He had his hands jammed in his pockets. "This is Akurei and his son." Vegeta said. "You remember Akurei, don't you?" "Lemme think. No." Trunks said, all run together. Goten yawned. "Behave." Bulma snapped. "If you start anything right now or for the rest of the evening, first I'll wear you out, then I'll ship you out to Boot Camp today." Trunks rolled his pretty blue eyes. "Whatever." He said. He strolled over to Akurei with that smirk on his face Vegeta always wore. "So, If I don't remember ya, that means you musta saw me when I was like 3, right?" Akurei shook his head. "No, you were older, maybe like 5 or 6, I dunno." Trunks busted out laughing at the sound of Akurei's french voice. "Hey, Goten! Get a load of that!" Goten stifled laughter. "Why dontcha go back to France?" Trunks said. "I heard the food there's great. Plenty of snails to go around." Trunks and Goten howled with laughter. Vegeta giggled a little, But Bulma glared at him. "Dont make fun of my daddys voice." Little Kilo said. he looked mad or sad or something. trunks howled at Kilo, too. "Oh, You sound the same." Trunks said. "I mean, your dad is so inconsiderate. he could have married a nice Japanese broad so you would at least sound halfway normal!" He laughed even harder.(Man, trunks is mean. I love French accents)This time, even Bulma had to hide her laughter. Kilo powered up. "You better watch out!" He said. Trunks's eyes widened. "Oh my gosh!" He said. "Im so afraid!" he powered up to Super Saiyan. "You wanna fight, kid?" He was kidding, but Kilo jumped at the chance. "Bring it." He said. Bulla was scared. Bulma went up behind Trunks and slapped him as hard as she could. he was seeing stars. "You stupid, ugly , weirdo!" Bulma screamed. "Who the Hell do you think you are, Trunks!" She started slapping Trunks. Vegeta had to stop her. "You know, there are laws in this City." He said. "Calm down, Bulma, and......SAVE ME SOME!" Vegeta launched himself toward Trunks, But Akurei stopped him. "Stop it." Akurei said. "He's right. I do sound like a total freak. But that's okay. At least he speaks his mind." "He wasn't speaking his mind." Bulma said. "He was making fun of you." Akurei shrugged. "Aw well." Trunks smirked. "I like this guy. He's got a good since of humor. Now maybe he can talk my parents out of sending me to Boot Camp." He jammed his hands back in his pockets and went into his bedroom and slammed the door. Goten followed.  
  
"What happened to him?" Akurei asked. "He used to be such a nice little kid. But he's got himself a big attitude." Kilo and Bulla were playing in the floor with trucks. Bulla was a girl and she didn't like trucks, but she really wanted to be freinds with Kilo, and trucks are what he liked. "I dont know." Bulma said. "He hit 15 two years ago, and all this stuff started. We were pretty sure it was just that Bulla was getting a lot of attention, or that he was a teenager, but now he's 17 and it still hasn't stopped. He's not big on drugs, but on alchohal he's HUGE. " Bulma sighed. "I think he's jelous of Bulla." Vegeta said. "Thats what I think it was all along. Or maybe even he's jelous of his mother. I give both of them much more attention than him, because I dont have to worry about them dying in a fight. "Thats a big problem." Akurei said. "Maybe Trunks wants attention." Vegeta laughed in a huge smile. "Yeah right! If he wanted attention, he wouldent scare people off with that creepy stuff in his room." Bulma shuddered. "Yeah. He has this big old Iguana in his room, I think he calls it 'Demolition Dude'." Vegeta nodded. "And thats not the worst of it. The worst of it is those posters of ugly women and Ozzy Osbourne, and he has a Bedpillow desighned to look like a dead body." Bulma nodded. "Its so True!" She said. "I think Boot Camp will fix it, though. What about you?" Akurei looked around. "I for one would never send my son to Boot Camp. There's too many things that can happen to them there." Bulma's eyes got bigger than they already were. "Like what?" She asked. "Bad things?" Akurei cleared his throat. "Well, the officers can slap you if you refuse to do something. Worse than that, also." Bulma shook her head. "Vegeta, I don't think we should do this." Vegeta always knew she was a wuss. "Akurei, would you shut up and stop telling her stuff she doesn't want to hear? Maybe then she'd support the decision. Trunks needs it." Akurei hung his head. "I'm not even here, Im not even here, Im not even here...." he told himself over and over. "What are you doing?" Vegeta asked. "Oh." Akurei said. "Just a technique my mom told me to use when my dad was calling me names and making me feel like a nobody." Vegeta and Bulma decided not to ask. "Its getting awfully late." Akurei said and he looked at his watch. "Me and Kilo better get going back to our apartment." Akurei clapped his hands. "Come on, Kilo. Let's go." He said. Kilo floated into the air towards the door. "Bye, y'all." Akurei said. Then he gave a wave and they both blasted out. When he was gone, Vegeta and Bulma sighed. "Is it just me, or is it getting harder to understand that guy?" Bulma said. Vegeta nodded. "Defenintly. It is. He didn't used to talk SO French. But now it's just awful." Bulma nodded. 'And I noticed something else. That boy still had a tail. That means he still turns into that big ugly monkey." Vegeta nodded. "Man, that's cool. Your twice as strong when your a monkey, you know what Im saying?" Bulma nodded. "But there's no moon in this place anymore." Vegeta shrugged. "True." Bulla was eating cookies and feeding them to a baby toy. "Time to get ready for bed." Bulma told her. "NO!" Bulla whined. "Papa, I dont want to go to bed! trunks whispers scary things through the crack in my wall." Vegeta got up. He stalked to Trunks' room. The stereo was blaring. He opened the door, and was suprised. At least 10 young half-dressed girls were in there dancing with Goten and Trunks. "Dad! Can't you knock?" Vegeta gave the open mouthed stare. "W-WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?!!" He screamed. "ARE YOU CRAZY?! DO YOU REALLY THINK I WOULS ACCEPT ALL THESE....young....beautiful....teenage.........um.....GIRLS IN MY HOUSE?!!" Vegeta started shooing them out the window from wence they came. "No!" trunks said. "But I dont really CARE what you accept and what you dont!" Vegeta grabbed the Iguana off the bed and dropped it in the cage. "Turn the stereo down!" Vegeta said. Trunks shook his head. "NOW!" Vegeta roared. Trunks whistled and ignored Vegeta. He was really brave. "Fine!" Vegeta said, and he Ki blasted the stereo. It flew in a thousand peices. "DAD!" Trunks yelled. "I bought that with my own money, you lowlife scum!" Vegeta tried to stay calm. But he coulden't. He powered up fully and threw himself at Trunks. But luckily for Trunks, he was fast and avoided him. "Oh, Please dad." Trunks said. "You have to be faster than that." And he sashayed past Vegeta. He walked down the stairs, whistling the tune that had been blasting on the stereo. Vegeta was so frustrated he could just die. ]  
  
Trunks was sitting down and wating patato chips when Vegeta walked into the kitchen. Bulma was sitting with Bulla in her lap. They were looking at a sales circular. Bulma saw the look on Vegetas face. "Whats the matter?" Bulma asked. "Are you okay?" Vegeta grumbled under his breath. "Speak up, Honey. I cant hear you." "I SAID TRUNKS IS STUPID AND HE WONT LISTEN TO ME AND THAT MAKES ME SO MAD I COULD JUST KILL HIM AND ARGH!" he tore a throw pillow apart. Bulma shrugged. "Those are on sale any way." Trunks laughed. "Chill, dad. Maybe I'll be better after I go to Boot Camp. Or I'll just act better, and as soon as I get back, Ill start raising hell again." He turned on the TV. Bulma wanted him to turn it off, but she didn't even bother telling him. "Your mean Trunks." Bulla said. "You made Papa feel bad." "Well If 'Papa' feels bad, he can go take a Viagra and take it out on mom." Trunks said. "How do you think I got here." Vegeta's cheeks flushed red. "Thats not true." he said. "You got here because you were an accident. Remember the story I used to tell you when you were little about the humid misty night one October? When I was doing sit ups on my bed when i was living with your mom for the gravity room, and she came in with my dinner, and--" Bulma stopped Vegeta. "Thats enough information." Trunks said. "But BULLA wasn't an accident. Bulla was plain sailing because you wanted Bulla." Bulla was sad because now she was in the middle of the argument. She decided to sit and watch for the inner satisfaction it would bring that people were fighting over her. "I'll have more fun at Boot Camp anyway." trunks said. "Then I won't have to deal with my parents. And there's more puny kids to pick on. You just wait. Tomarrow morning, when I go, I'll love it. It won't change me a bit."  
  
"No way!" Goten said that night. "No way no way no--" Chi Chi nodded. "You get in too much trouble around here. Your going to Boot Camp with Trunks." She said. "I make straight A's and I won the spelling Bee!" Goten said. Chi Chi froze. "Well, your going anyway." Goten sighed. He knew his mom was trying to get rid of him, like the time she dumped him in the dumpster and told her Fairies lived there.  
  
Trunks swung his legs over the doors of the convertible and gazed around. He hoisted two full suitcases. "Well, this is a pretty little place." Trunks said. "For PREPS." "Let me tell you something." Vegeta said. "You are a prep. Your rich and snobby." Trunks didn't reply. Bulma, Bulla and Vegeta got out behind him so they could register him. "Do any girls go here?" Trunks asked, looking around. He saw some, but they looked like they were the sisters of other rebellious looking boys. But most boys had rings sticking out of their noses or eyebrows or even tongues. "Thank god u have enough since not to get one of those." Bulma said. Trunks stuck out his tongue. A golden stud was in it. "Sorry mom." he said. "You spoke too soon." Vegeta had to catch her when she swooned. "You punk." Vegeta sneered. They all walked up to the main bulding. Trunks saw a puny, glasses wearing nerd regestering at the counter. he was short and SKINNY with big round glasses. trunks walked up. "Hey, kid!" He said. "Beat it!" He cornered the kid against the wall. "Your so stupid! Why are YOU regestering here? For the poetry they offer?" The kid shook his head. "Im not a kid. And Im not going here. Im regestering for my son." Trunks felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around. A HUGE guy of at least 6 feet 5 stood over him. His muscles were overflowing and he had a big tattoo. "Hello..." Trunks said. "Are you bothering my dad?" The kid aasked in a deep voice. Trunks ran back over to his family. "See.' Bulma said. "Being a jerk lands you in trouble." Trunks shrugged. "I'm not afraid of that thug." He spat in that direction. Vegeta was up at the counter. "Name?" Asked the little nerd at the counter. "Mr. And Mrs. Vegeta and Bulma Breifs." Vegeta said. The little nerd laughed at their last name. "Hey, dont laugh at me." Vegeta said. "Okay." Said the clerk. "Kids name who regstering?" "Trunks.....Trunks um.......Trunks.....Whats his middle name, Bulma?" Bulma took the little paper and wrote, 'Trunks Micheal Breifs'. "Occupation?" The lady asked. Bulma wrote, 'Capsule Corp. President and The World's Savior'. The secretary thought it was some kind of pet name, like 'My hero', so she let them keep it. "Age?" "Trunks is 17 and Vegeta is ** and Im **."(You guess. I dont have time to think about that now) And Mr. Rogers is 76." "Why do I want to know the age of Mr. Rogers?" Asked the secretary. "Because." Vegeta said. He filled out the rest of the application and gave it to her. "Now, I'll need $547 dollars cash or check for Uniform fees. Then 589 dollars for room and board fees. Then an additional 1000 fees for not destroying your son mentally. a 50 dollar fee if you dont want him embarrased in public, and a 7$ fee for cute novelty peppermints on his pillows." They only paid the first two fees. "And the last required fee is educational fee and Bally Total Fitness. Thats 1500 dollars." Vegeta paid all the money. "Thats alot of fees." Bulma said. "Thats alot of mascara." Mouthed off the secretary. "You want some of this?" Bulma asked. She didn't know the clerk was a lesbo. "Sure." She said. Vegeta was horrified. "Your MINE!" He said. "You can't be gay!" "Who said I was gay?!"Bulma asked. Vegeta whispered in her ear that the clerk was a lesbian. (Nothing is wrong with gays, alas) Bulma nodded. "Ohhhhhhh.........Sorry Vegeta." He nodded. "Now can we drop off this terrible child?" Asked Vegeta. "I want to go home." The clerk nodded. "Sure. Drop him off in the mail chute." She wasn't kidding.  
  
"This is GAY!" Trunks said. He was in the room he was going to sleep in. There were three other beds in that room. He hadn't met his roommates yet. The bedsheets said 'Harry Potter rocks' on them. "Can this get any gayer?" trunks mumbled. They had instructed him to go to his room, put down his suitcase, put on his suit, eat a lemon jolly rancher, and drink some tea. Then go down to the training area. They would teach him how to treat his teacher, and his teacher would tell him about Boot Camp(Technical name-- Military school) . Trunks sighed and ripped off his shirt. He put on the ugly, stiff, smelly suit. It was dark green and reeked of ugly people. The boots were shiny and black. He looked like Adolph Hitler. He did the rest he was instructed to, and flew out of his room. He flew out to the training area, where 2 other boys were. The only other boys new to boot camp. One was named Deseray. A girls name. The other was........"Goten!" Trunks whispered. "What are you doing here?" Goten shrugged. "Ask mother." A short, bald man in a military suit bent over Trunks. His breath smelt. "First rule is....KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, MAGGOTS!" Spittle flew onto trunks face. Trunks waved a hand in front of his nose. "Yeah, well, Pops, first rule in my book is....BRUSH YOUR TEETH EVERY MORNING!" The lutinent looked stunned. It didn't look like anyone had ever told him off before. "You get that one free, Maggot!" he yelled. "But that's the only one! Im lutinant Bonerz." Trunks giggled. Bonerz looked at him weird. "You will always refer to me as sir or madam! I mean, Sir!" Trunks and Goten and Deseray started laughing. "SHUT UP, MAGGOTS!" Bonerz yelled. "yes, Madam." Trunks said. Lutinant Bonerz scoffed. "You will be punished by 150 PUSHUPS! A SLAP IN THE FACE OR A LAP AROUND ALLIGATOR LAKE! THERE REALLY ARENT' ANY ALLIGATORS, ITS JUST ALL MUDDY AND REALLY NASTY! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?" Trunks was whistling, his favorite past time. "DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR, BREIFS?!" trunks nodded. "Oh yeah. Sure." "SURE WHAT?!" "Sure, Madam." "YOU WILL CALL ME SIR!" "Whatever, SIR." Trunks said. Trunks reached in his large Cargo Pockets and pulled out a portable stereo. He shoved the little mikes over his ears and churned it up to full blast, singing along. "Turn that off, RIGHT THIS INSTANT!" Bonerz shouted. Trunks whistled and sang the words, not even hearing him. "Um, maybe you better do what he says?" Goten asked, not wanting to make his best friend mad. Trunks didn't hear. Bonerz was outraged. He ripped the expensive headphones from Trunks' ears and threw them to the floor. Then he stomped on them. "What would your mother think?" Bonerz said. "My mother would probably think you were hot." Trunks said. "But honestly, I dont know why." Then he started laughing. Bonerz slapped Trunks across the face so hard Trunks saw black before he felt a tremendous stining pain. He gazed at Bonerz open mouthed. "You can't HIT me." he said. He lit a powerball up on his hand. "Im gonna blow your head off!" He yelled. Bonerz stared terrified at the powerball. The powerball grew and grew. Then, Goten dove out and grabbed Trunks' hand. "Um, Trunks, you can't use Ki here.......if people find out, they'll freak...." Trunks growled and lowered his hand. "You were just lucky Goten was here, old man." Trunks said. "Or you'd be ancient history. Im going to the Cafeteria to eat. Chow, guys." And he jammed his hands in his pockets and started walking off. "You get back here right now, Maggot!" Bonerz shouted. "I wouldent be the one calling someone Maggot, maggot." Trunks sneered. He was really pround of himself as he stepped in the cafeteria to get his sandwich.  
  
"Oh, great!" Vegeta yelled. A long stream of cussing words followed. "What is it now?" Bulma asked. "Its a letter from the Boot Camp Trunks went to." Vegeta said. "Already?" Bulma asked. "Open it. It could be asking for more FEES." Vegeta snickered as he ripped the top off the envolope and opened the letter. "It says, um...."  
Mr. And Mrs. Vegeta Breifs,  
Your son is an awful, terrible excuse for a soldier. Just yesterday he tried to blow my head off with something that came out of his hand. His freind stopped him. He won't listen to me, and I just wanted you to know NOT to be suprised if he comes back not being changed at all. That kid is better off in a BOYS HOME, Where he can't corrupt valuble adults time. I'll try my best to change him, but that means he'll be doing alot of sit ups and push ups, and he'll be running lots of laps and getting alot of slaps.  
  
Sincerely,  
LUTINANT BONERZ  
  
PS: Do not laugh at my name. And we'll need a 50 dollar fee for him wasting my time as i try to change him.  
  
Told you it was fees they're after." Bulma sighed. 


	2. Trunks doesn't like it and he intends to...

Chapter 2, part 2  
  
discalimer: I dont own dragonball z or anyone or anything else trademarked in this story.  
  
**AUTHORS NOTE!!READ BEFORE READING CHAPPIE!** If I didn't tell you before the last story, I refer to Vegeta and Bulma's daughter, Bra, as Bulla, her american name. Thank you.  
  
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"It's more than just the fees." Vegeta said."They're telling us our son is a failure and he'll never pass the course." He threw the letter in the trash. Bulma folded clothes. "I think they're just telling us that so we'll send the 50 bucks." Bulma said. "Dont worry." She scoffed as she saw a big brown stain on one of her dresses. She faintly remembered Trunks coming in with a sloshing Root Beer the day before. "Or maybe he is just an ugly stupid failure!" Bulma screeched, and threw her favorite White dress away. "He's not ugly." Vegeta said. "And he's not stupid. He's HERRENDOUSLY UGLY and TERRIBLY STUPID!" They didn't really mean either of those, because Trunks was VERY handsome and very smart, as well. They were saying those awful things out of rage. "What did we do wrong all his life?" Bulma asked. "Do you think it was us?" Vegeta shook his head. "No, Bulma, I think he was corrupted to begin with. Remember how he used to play with those soldiers? Remember?" Bulma nodded. "Yes, but in this book I read, they said it's always the parents. We fought a lot, remember? Maybe that corrupted him." Vegeta shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe." "Or maybe it was your attitude." Bulma said. "That attitude you STILL have." Vegeta was annoyed. "Aw well. What matters is, Trunks is a failure and we didn't do it." Bulma nodded. "Right on!" She said. "So we don't have to worry about Bulla growing up like that, right?" Vegeta nodded. "Bulla would never not listen to me. I get her everything she wants. The other day, she wanted a joint, and I almost bought it for her!" Vegeta laughed. Bulma didn't see how that was so funny. "It's not funny that you almost bought Bulla drugs." Bulla walked in the room with a Barbie doll and a few other things. "Well, it made her cry when I woulden't let her have it. I guess we should talk to her more about drugs and violence." Bulma's eyes widened. "Is that you in there, Vegeta?! The Vegeta I remember can't get enough violence." Vegeta shook his head. "Now thats not true." He said. Then he turned on his Playstatiuon and started playing a game called 'Decapitate the Deer'. He shot a deers head off. Blood splattered all over the screen. "Game Over!" The screen said. "You shot the deers head off too far to the left." Vegeta cursed the dumb game and clicked it off. "Are we going to send that 50 dollar fee?" Vegeta asked. "Do you think it's worth all this money when that stupid gay B*st*rd probably can't even help our son?" Bulma shrugged. "I guess we should, I mean, 50 isn't that much, and it will keep Trunks out of our hair for about 2 years." Vegeta noticed something on the back of the letter he threw away. In the Lutinants chickenscratch, it said, '" I need a 1,000 dollar fee. The reason is this. Your son is such an *sshole that I know you wont want him home for Christamas, Easter, Halloween, and all the other holidays. So, I need this fee to keep him because he's so mean." Vegeta had read this out loud. Bulma was laughing. "No way am I going to leave him there on holidays for the poor teachers to deal with. And we always go to America on Christamas, And I dont want him to miss out." Vegeta groaned. He hated going to America on Christmas, and he hated it even worse when Trunks tagged along. Vegeta ground the letter up in the garbage disposal so they woulden't find any other little suprises, and he woulden't have to haer anything else he didn't want to hear. "Vegeta, could you mop for me please?" Bulma asked. She was putting Shout on the clothes. But as soon as she said that, she knew what the answer would be. "No way, Bulma. Do it yourself. What do I look like, your personal slave? Its not fun at all." "I do things that arent fun 24/7, and you dont hear me whining." Bulma said. "What do you think your doing now?" Vegeta asked. "I have something fun all three of us can do. Let's go look through Trunks' room and see what things he has hidden in there." Bulma jumped up. "Thats a great idea!" They all stalked toward Trunks room.  
  
* * * *  
  
"Do you hear something?" Bulma asked outside Trunks door. "It sounds like there's something in there. Something making noise." She looked really scared. "He does have a big old lizard in there, doesn't he?" Bulla asked. "Maybe thats what is making that noise." Vegeta nodded. "She's porbably right, Bulma. Or he left the radio on." Vegeta jiggled the doorknob, only to find that it was locked. "He's got a good head on im'." Bulma said. "He knew we'd search his room. We can't get in without a room key." Vegeta smirked. "Yes we can." He made the symbol of a 'b' in American sign language, and blasted the doorknob. It wasn't a very large Big Bang, so it just rattled it. He hit it three more times with more intenst blasts, and the doorknob and deadblot both flew into a thousand peices. Then, He kicked the door in easily. It clattered and fell to the ground. They all had to cover their noses, because Trunks had that stuff burning that makes scents. It was kinda hard to see with that blacklight, and he had lava lamps everywhere. "Go get a box." Bulma told Vegeta. "We're trashing all his bad stuff. When he comes back, he'll like it more." Vegeta flew down, grabbed a large box, and flew back up. "I know what's first to go!" Bulla said. She pointed to the dead body pillow. "Thats scary." Bulma heard the noise again as Vegeta put the scary pillow in the box. "Don't you hear that?" Bulma hissed. "I didn't think it was the iguana, that time." Vegeta shrugged. "Get to work." Bulma ripped the scantily clad posters of women off the walls, balled them up into compact sizes, and tossed them into the box. Vegeta ripped off the bed comforter that had pictures of disturbing things on it. Bulla found a doll that looked like Chuckie off of 'Child's Play.' She tossed it in the box, and when it hit, it said, 'I'm going to kill you'. Bulla hadn't known that it was a talking doll. She shuddered and dug through Trunks' drawers. Vegeta tossed a picture of Trunks and his girlfriend in the box, because he thought she was ugly. Then he swept everythig on top of his dresser into the box. There was nothing worth keeping. But he decided to let Trunks keep his lava lamps. They had cost him a lot of money. They rummaged through trunks' things for a long time before coming to the closet. Bulma had gotten out the iguana and set it free in the garden. She didn't know that iguana's don't know how to survive in the wild. Vegeta ripped open the closet door to a terrible sight. A dog was chained up in there, and the moment it saw them, it leaped at them barking and snapping. A pail of cold water slapped into Vegeta's face, and eggs smashed into Bulla's and Bulmas. "Its booby trapped!" Bulma said, unchaining the dog and wrestling with it as it tried to bite her. It was a black pitbull. Bulla wiped her dirty face on her dress. "Yucky." She said. Vegeta was really mad. "He must be hiding something in here." Vegeta said. He dug through all the dirty clothes in the closet. Something reeked in there. "It smells like old rotten Balogna." Bulma said. She had way too much experiance with old rotten Balogna. "Its not old rotten Balogna." Vegeta said. "Its old rotten ham." There was old rotten ham in the closet. "That's where our thanksgiving ham went." Bulma said. "That was a thirty dollar ham." Vegeta shrugged. "He was probably feeding it to this monster lizard." The lizard was still under the window, dazed because it had been dropped. "This is a scary room." Bulla said. "There's all kinds of things under the bed." She was pulling out things that Trunks had since he was 8. Even the old, dead, stiff family cat, Kitty. Bulma burst into tears. Kitty! It's you!" She said. She was going to hug her long lost cat, but she remembered he was dead and stiff. "I remember Kitty." Vegeta said. "That annoyant cat that used to trip me......gosh was she annoying." "I dont remember Kitty." Bulla said. "Im sure you dont, Princess. She disappeared about 3 years before you were born." Bulla shrugged. "I dont think I'll dig under his bed any more." She said. "That's good." Vegeta said. He looked at his watch. "Princess, It's time for bed. Go get ready." Bulma was putting the cat in a black plastic bed while she cried as Bulla walked out of the room. "I didn't know you liked Kitty so much." Vegeta said, watching as tears ran down Bulma's face. "It was our first cat." She said. "I never knew he could be in here. I bet Trunks didn't eaither." Vegeta waved a hand in front of his face. "How could that kid NOT know? It smells something awful." "He's always burning those smelly sticks." Bulma said. "When we put it out, that's when we smelled it." Vegeta shrugged. Bulma tossed the plastic bag out the window. "Um, maybe you should bury that." Vegeta said. "We'll get a Sitation." "Aw well." Bulma said. "We can pay it. Im tired. Let's go to bed." Vegeta nodded. "Okay." They had just got in bed, and they were just about to fool around, when the phone rang. "Oh, D*mmit." Vegeta said, picking up the phone. "Who is it, and what do you want? Im kinda busy here, so--" "DAD, GET ME OUTTA THIS H*LLHOLE!" Trunks yelled into the phone. "Son? Is that you? Why are you calling?" Bulma, when she heard Vegeta say 'son' picked up the other phone. "Hi trunks. Is something wrong? Too bad we're 100 miles away, and we would help." "No." Trunks said. "There's nothing wrong except the fact that I hate this place and I want to come home! That dumb Bonerz guy smashed my walkman, and he slapped me! If Goten hadn't been here, I wouldev'e blown off his head!" "Wait, back up." Vegeta said. "Goten's there?" "Yes." Trunks said. "And he's the same old goody goody two shoes he always was. And I know your going to search my room. Well guess what, its locked." "We broke the locks." Vegeta said sternly. "And we did search your room. Guess what we found?" Trunks snickered on the other end of the line. "Fluffy and my Booby Traps? And the ham?" Vegeta didn't reply. "No, we found Kitty." "Kitty?" Trunks asked. "As in, Kitty our old cat?" He sounded suprised. "Yes, that kitty." Vegeta said. "He was dead and stiff as a board under your bed." "Oh, Okay." trunks said. Then he hung up. "Wonder what he wanted." Bulma said.  
  
Trunks was laughing when he got off the phone. "What is it?" Goten asked. He was one of his room mates. The other Trunks hadn't met yet because he was at home visiting his parents. "My parents were obviously in the middle of something steamy when I called." Trunks snickered. "And they searched my room. They found my old cat under the bed." "Under the bed?!" Goten asked. "You mean Kitty? Was she dead?" trunks shoved Goten's head. "Of course, Doofus. The cat would be 18 if it was alive today." Goten nodded. He wasn't that fond of Trunks being so bossy simply because he was 'older'. "I bet they got a real suprise when they found Fluffy. I knew they'd search my room when I left, so I tired up a big dog in the closet, just to give them a scare." Trunks leaned back where his head was on his big fluffy pillow and his feet were crossed. "I'm not even sure I want to go home. There's plenty of people here that I can make fun of." Trunks sat up on the bed. "But if I had my walkman, I'd be listening to it right about now." A tall, ugly boy stomped in. His nose was high in the air, and he was dressed in expensive army attire. "I'll bet your from the West Side." Goten said. The boy kept his eyes on the celing, but glanced down. he scoffed. "I can see your definintly not. How did you ever afford to get into a place like this? Both my Parents are top Lawyers in the whole country." The ugly kid smirked and chortled. "Well, buddy." Trunks said. "My mother owns and fully operates the capsule Corp." He showed the kid his Capsule Corp shirt, which was honest proof. "Im much richer than you. And I payed for him. So there." The ugly kid looked mad. But he lowered his nose. "Beat it, Pal." Trunks said. "Or I'll beat ya." The kid stuck up his nose and walked out, after leaving an 'Abercrombie' duffel bag. "Cool." Goten said. "You told him off." "Yeah, but it was only--" The alarm beeped. That meant it was time to get up and report to Boot Camp training. "We stayed up all night talking." Trunks said. "I'm going to be so tired, Im not going to know what to do." Trunks pulled on the Camo shirt part of his uniform. Then the pants. he had them tailored so they were really tight, because he heard there was a girls division of the army school. Then him and Goten filed out. Bonerz was already talking. "Breifs, Son, good of you to join us." He said with a smug look. "Oh, Its just a PLEASURE." Said Trunks with a smirk. They got into their places and Bonerz kept talking. "As you all know, what makes a good soldier is aim." Bonerz picked up his rifle and fired a shot directly over the line's heads. They all gasped. Trunks' eyes fell on a target range, and he smiled. His aim was much better than Bonerz. Goten watched the Bullet as it buried into the target, about 2 inches from the Bullseye. Goten knew his aim was better, too, but all the other class members acted suprised. Bonerz threw guns into all their hands. "Each gun has REAL AMMUNITION." Bonerz said. "Some of you aren't very mature with a gun, so this rule stands. As you all know, you all have jobs either cleaning bathrooms or the cafeteria, in which you all make 7 dollars and hour." Trunks hadn't started his job yet, but he would tomarrow. It was washing and folding laundry. "That is your only source of income," Bonerz continued, "besides the amout of spending money your parents send you, which varys depending on your family's financial situation." Trunks smiled. He had 2,352 dollars to his name right now, but his parents sent him 1,000 a week. It would add up fast. "If for any reason, even by accident, you happen to shoot someone, you will pay for their doctor bills.....with your own spending money! I estimate them to be about 6000 dollars." Trunks gasped. Even HE would have a hard time paying that much and still being able to eat, because his parents were very strict about the 1000 dollar a week policy. "SoI suggest you soldiers be mature about it and dont go taking personal grudges out with these guns." Trunks jokingly aimed the gun at the back of Bonerz' head while he was facing back. "I see that, maggot." Said Bonerz. Trunks lowered the gun. Everyone snickered. "You are to wait in civilized lines for your turn to shoot." Bonerz said. "Oh, no rifle-whipping either." Then he turned around. Trunks grinned. This was going to be FU-UN.  
  
"I wonder what Trunks is doing at school?" Bulla asked as she ate her Fruity Pebbles. "Does he have to do math and stuff like I do?" Vegeta shook his head and opened the fridge to look for something to make a sandwich. "No, he's in a BAD BOY school.Only BAD BOYS go there. They shoot guns and do fake missions to train them for the military. It teaches discipline." "Is Trunks going into the military?" Bulla asked. Vegeta took the bread out of the cabinet. "No." Vegeta said. "He's going to learn to own the Capsule Corp some day, or at least thats what his mother says." Vegeta cursed as mayonaise plopped onto the countertop. He wiped it up with his glove and then licked it off. How sick. He doesn't know where his hands had been. "Okay guys!" Bulma said in her naturally loud voice as she came in the kitchen. "Here's all your clothes you can go put up. Oh, and your underwear!" She gave them to Bulla. "Oh, you know I dont like to see those!" Vegeta groaned. "Common sense, Bulma!" He turned his head as Bulla ran into her bedroom. "Thats weird." Bulma said. "You cant even look at the underwear of a 7 year old." She rolled her eyes. "Besides, I have some for you too." She gave them to Vegeta and he went and put them in his dresser drawer. He stabbed himself on a pocket knife. Blood ran down one of his fingers and through his glove. He ripped off the glove and it was pretty deep. And, it hurt like something awful. He squeezed his finger as hard as he could manage, and he heard it snap. "OW!" He screamed. "I guess I dont know my own strength." He said through gritted teeth. "What is it?" Bulma asked, running into the bedroom. She saw the blood running down Vegeta's finger. "Oh, your fingers bleeding!" She cried, and she ran and squeezed it. "OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!" Vegeta yowled. "I already tried that, and it snapped." Bulma looked at it. It was purple and resembled a sausage. A bloody one. "Um, go put it under the water faucet." She said. "On cold water....and.." She wasn't really sure what to do. Vegeta ran into their bathroom and turned on the cold water. He stuck his finger underneath it.........and......The water hitting it made it turn very painful. It was bent sideways instead of frontways. And when he tried to move it, It didn't respond. Bulma came in with a hot water bottle. "Why is it you tell me to run it under COLD water and then you bring me a heat bottle?" Bulma looked at the finger, now turning black. "Oh dear......" She said. "Maybe you better put something on it?" Vegeta looked at the finger, then back at her. "LIKE WHAT, NEOSPORIN?! ITS AN INSIDE INJURY, STUPID!" Bulma was winced back. "Sorry. Sorry I said anything." She said. Vegeta didn't mean to say it. But he didn't say sorry, either. "And I meant something like a bandage." Vegeta nodded. "Oh." There was a moment of awkward silence. "You know, maybe we should call my parents and ask?" Bulma said. "My mom knows these things." Vegeta nodded, and Bulma grabbed the phone and dialed.  
  
* * *  
  
It was a long and frustrating conversation with Bulma's mother. She told Bulma to take Vegeta to the minor emergancy clinic and see if he had broken a bone in his hand and not his finger, and to see if he needed stitches in the cut. "She was a lot of help." Vegeta mumbled as him and Bulma walked into the Minor Emergency clinic. They had left Bulla with Akurei and his son. "Now wait right here while I go to the reception desk and sign you in." Vegeta winced. The finger was throbbing and it was black mixed with dark purple. Bulma thought it looked like the sky right before a storm. But she was one of those people who day dreamed a whole lot, so to her it probley could have looked like a dog. "Hurry up." Vegeta told her. "It hurts something awful." Bulma nodded and patted Vegeta on the back. "You can handle being punched from side to side by Majin Buu, but not a broken finger? God, Vegeta." "Shut up." Vegeta said. "Its not my fault. Its also cut." The cut was still slowly oozing blood. Bulma completed scirbbing her name into the sheet and turned it in. "Okay, go right in." Said the man at the reception desk with a smile. Bulma and Vegeta walked into the back. Vegeta was holding his hand up really high because that seemed to ease the pain just a little bit. They walked into a room with a little old doctor. "How are we today?" He asked. Vegeta gazed gape- mouthed. He recognized him. "YOU!" He screamed. He pointed a shaking finger. (Not the broke one). It was Dr. Fagface, his most hated Dr. This Dr. enjoyed flirting with Bulma, and this was one of Vegeta's biggest Pet Peeves. On their last encounter, Dr. Fagface had lost an arm. It was still gone, but only up to the shoulder. It was eerie. "No, Im not your doctor." Fagface said with a grim tone. "I had to become a nurse after I lost my arm. But not to worry." He said. "I'll leave your lady alone this time." Bulma nodded. "Thank you very much sir....now about my husband's finger..." Fagface's face lit up. "Oh, yes." He looked at it. "Im not a Dr., so I cant tell you if it needs stitches because I dont have that authority anymore, but I need to give him a Tetanus Booster, because whatever cut him looks like it was pretty rusty." Vegeta nodded. "Would you HURRY? Im in pain." He hopped up on the bed. "Ill be right back with your tetanus booster." He walked out. "Bulma, whats a Tetunus Booster?" He asked. She wrung out her purse. "Um, its a, its a shot, honey." Vegeta looked around. "Shot? What is a shot? Does it hurt?" Bulma looked even more nervous. "A shot is when they stick a needle in you to inject medicine.....and yes, Tetanus Boosters do hurt, to be honest, but you CANT blow the guy away. You just CANT. Okay?" Vegeta slowly nodded. "PROMISE." Bulma said. "Promise." Vegeta said. Then the doctor came back in, and Vegeta saw how long the neelde was. "Your not going to....stick it all in there, um, are you?" Vegeta asked, eyeing Bulma. "yes, Im afraid we are." Fagface said. Vegeta gasped. "NO! Id blow you away if I hadn't promised my wife." Bulma winked. "Thats gonna hurt!" Vegeta whined. "Sit still." Instructed the nurse as he rubbed down Vegeta's arm with cotton. "That makes my skin tingly." Vegeta said. "What is it? Is it tainted? Are you trying to kill me?" Fagface roolled his eyes and borught the needle close to Vegeta's arm. His breath caught in his throat. Then the nurse touched the needle to his skin and pushed on the injector. It went a few centimeters and.....Stuck. Vegeta was very muscular. "owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww~" Vegeta screamed. "Hurry! tAKE IT OUT, IT HURTS!" His arm twanged with pain. Fagface shoved it really hard, and it slid in the rest of the way. A drop of blood showed up on the skin's surface. "Ow." Veg6eta said, rubbing his arm. The Dr. stuck a band-aid on the wound. Then he left the room. "He doesn't have the RIGHT to hurt me like that." Vegeta scorned. "I am the Prince of all Saiyans. If I was still on my planet, he would have died on our first encounter for messing with royalty's women." Bulma rolled her eyes. She was working on cross stiching. "There you go with that Prince stuff again. I thought you were over that phase." Vegeta shrugged and looked at his estranged extremety. It was purplish black, swollen to the size of a sausage, and hurting like hell. "When will he be back?" Vegeta cried. "Im tired of waiting." he shifted on the table. "WOULD YOU STOP WHINING?! Bulma screeched. " IM TRYING TO DO THIS CROSSSTICHING AND YOU'VE CAUSED ME TO SCREW UP THREE TIMES ALREADY!" Vegeta was about to fire a terribly mean comeback pun when the doctor strolled in. "'bout time!" Vegeta said. The doctor saw how terrible the finger was upon entering. "Hello. Im Doctor Tidbit. How are you today?" Bulma noticed how extremely handsome the doctor was. "Hello, doctor. My husband thinks he broke his finger." The doctor looked at it from a distance. "May I see it up close, Mr. Breifs?" The doctor asked. Vegeta hesitated, but then he nodded. "Oh, it looks just about--" The doctor cricked the bone the wrong way with a sickening crack. Pain split through it and it popped back into place. "OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Bulma pricked herself with the needle. "I SAID SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE!" Bulma said. "But Im in pain.....what? Pie hole?" Bulma groaned and went back to her sewing. A long trail of blood went behind her finger on the peice she was working on. "Yes, its broke.'The doctor said. "So we're going to put on a hand cast to keep it steady, and we're also going to put 3 stitches in that cut of yours." Vegeta groaned. More pain.  
  
Bonerz had ashed hair and face. 'YOU HIT EVERYTHING BUT THE TARGETS WITH THAT GUN!" He shouted. "You shot the hat right off my head, leaving these ash marks!" Bonerz squished two bullets in his hand. "Your a terrible soldier!" Trunks shrugged. "Will you be able to fix the cafeteria before lunch?" he asked. "I know I overdid it and it will be hard to get done, but....." "YOU ARE PAYING FOR EVERY SINGLE BIT OF THE DAMAGE!" Bonerz cried. He held a paper in Trunks' face. "THE DAMAMGE ESTIMATE IS 7000 DOLLARS, YOU IDIOT!" Trunks gasped and covered his mouth. "Aw well." he said. "My parents will wire me the money." The guy spit at Trunks' feet. "What do you have to say for yourself?!" He whispered firmly. Trunks shrugged. "My bad." Bonerz chased Trunks into his room.  
  
By the time they got home, Vegeta looked like he had just fought the Viatnam. "Ow, my finger hurts." Vegeta whined. "Its only 5:00 PM, and I want to go to bed." Bulma opened her mouth to tell him to go ahead, but then she remembered. "VEGETA!" She said, grabbing his arm. "We had a Birthday Party at the country club at 7:00! Thats two hours we have to get ready! Remember, it's Agnis's birhtday?" Agnis was a whiny old lady at the country club. "I dont want to go anywhere with my finger like this." Vegeta said, looking at the ugly blue cast. In Bulma's big, bubbly handwriting, it said her name on it because she'd sighned it. "Well, you have to!" Bulma said. "I can't go alone! Please do it! For me?!" Vegeta slowly nodded. "Fine. But Im going dressed as I am. You can dress up." Bulma smilied and nodded. Even though she didn't like Agnis, she wanted to dress up and impress her.  
  
* * *  
  
Later, Vegeta was laying on the couch watching a cheesy romance filck. Sometimes he liked them, sometimes not. Biulma came walking down the stairs, and caught Vegeta's immediate attention. His jaw dropped to the tile. "D*mn!" He said. "That's my kind of outfit!" "What do you mean?" Bulma asked, applying dark red lipstick. "I mean, Its pretty hot." She was wearing a tight red miniskirt and a tight top that showed her midriff, dark red lipstick, silver eyeshadow, pink blush, and hoop earings. "Thanks." She said. "What are you watching?" He told her what it was. "Remember that one time we watched a movie and it made you cry?" Bulma asked. Vegeta nodded. "Yes, but I've asked you not to mention that." V Vegeta's finger let out a throb and he yelped. "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" He screamed. "Shut up." Bulma said. "Thats bad for your vocal cords." Vegeta didn't care if it was bad for his vocal cords! he was in pain! "Let's go!" Vegeta said. "I cant wait to see how fat Agnis has gotten!"  
  
"He's making me pay for all the damage I caused." trunks said. "I think he said 7,000? Im not sure." He was talking to Goten. "Well at least your folks are rich enough to pay off the debt." Goten said. "But your dad is really mad at you right now. Im not sure he willwant to send you anything." Trunks shrugged. "Im sorry for almost shooting you. I was aiming for the side of the building." Goten shrugged. "No problem." That snooty kid waltzed in. He wasn't wearing such a snooty look, but a rebellious one. "Trunks!" He said. He knew Trunks name, and Trunks knew his. It was Charles. "What kind of game was that? Your parents are nice enough to put you through a wonderful school like this and you do that? You should be proud of the family u were born into, wealth and power! Cars and swimming pools! Girls and....." He kept babbling. "Shut up!" trunks said. "Im in this school because i WAS SO BAD,not that its any of your buisness anyway." Charles looked suprised. "Because you were bad? Well, I have news for you. Tommarows' our first practice mission." Trunks laughed. "Aw well. They're just little fake tasks those boneheads make you do. Makes no difference. I dont need to be trained to be fast; ,my dad is one of the strongest fighters in the universe." He flipped through a dirty magazine. "Well, I hope you'll be happy when you fail the course." Trunks sighed. "Yes, MOTHER, I'm sure that I will." Chales walked out. "I hate him." trunks said. "Tomarrow, let's fail the mission, and hope he's on our team. That way we're sure to make him mad."  
  
Vegeta and Bulma walked into the Country club. Agnis walked up. "Why, hello.".She said, snootily."You brought that husband of yours, too?" Bulma nodded."I told you I was going to, Agnis. Where's your husband?" Agnis started to cry. "He died an untimely death. But I did bring someone." Vegeta tried to act interested. "Who?" He asked. "C'mere, Dahling!" Agnis called into the crowd. There was no answer. "Dahling! Dahhhhhling!" A woman stepped out of the crowd. Not just ANY woman. A dazzling blonde woman who was beautiful. "Oh,HEll-O!" Vegeta said. "Im Vegeta. And this is my wife, Bulma! How are you doing today?" The woman sniffled. She looked to be about 30. "My Dahling is sad that this is the eigth birthday of her child, that she lost contact with. Its a terrible story." Vegeta nodded. "Yes, It is! But me and Bulma have children to spare! You can have Trunks, a 17ar old!" Bulma slapped Vegete. 'No. Hes not for sale." The girl sniffled. "His name was Kilo. He was only 2 when I saw him last. Me and his father met in a stroip club in a jail, and it didn't work out." "KILO?!" Vegeta and Bulma said at the same time. Then they both turned to talk. "Bulma! Could it be--?" "Did your one-nite-stand have Black hair, black eyes, was really handsome and talked in a charming french accent?" Bulma asked. "Yes." The girl said. "I still remember him, how I asked him why he shot a powerball and he said it was because he was doing a magic trick." Vegeta and Bulma huddled togather again. "Should we tell Akurei about this?" Bulma asked. "No." Vegeta said. "We'll never speak of it again! A woman would ruin Akurei's life." Bulma nodded. Suddenly, the Country Club door opened up really fast. An Ugly, fat man with a gun entered. He pointed it at Agnis. Vegeta was silently cheering in his mind. "Give me all your money!" he screeched. "No." Agnis said. "You can go ahead and--" 3 gun shots rang through the air, all hitting Agnis. She screamed and pitched to the floor. "Is anyone going to refuse me?" Vegeta and Bulma looked around. Everyone else had ran. "Yes." Bulma said. "Your not getting any of our money, so just go away." The ugly man grabbed Bulma around the waste. "Hey! Thats my wife!" Vegeta said. The fat man ran out with her. "Bulma!" He gaqsped, and he fired Powerballs at the man. 3 small ones hit him, but he managed to get up. "Bring me my wife back!" Vegeta said, and he chased the man. Bulma was screaming and crying. Vegeta flew after the man, but the man jumped into a car and drove off.  
  
"What?" Trunks asked. "Somebody stole mother?" He noticed his dad sounded very worried. "Yeah." Vegeta said. "They just snatched her up because we woulden't give them money." Trunks gasped. "Maybe they'll send a ransom note?" He asked. He figured now wasn't the best time to ask for wired money. "I hope so." Vegeta said. "But what if they don't? I need you to come home for a while, Trunks, to help me care for your sister and find her. Can you do that?" Trunks didn't know if he wanted to go home to a dad who sent him to Boot Camp, then vilated his privacy by searching his room. "I dont know if they'll let me." Trunks said, lying to Vegeta. "It'll take me about 2 days to get ahold of the head dude and ask." Vegeta cursed. "Well, just fly home anyway." "No can do." Trunks said."They have guards all over the place. If I try to leave, I'll be shot down. You'll just have to give me time to wait." Vegeta sighed. "Alright, trunks. Good luck, and hurry." Vegeta hung up, and Trunks howled with laughter. "Some fat guy took my mom!" He said. Goten didn't think of that as amusing. "Dad wanted me to come home And try my luck at hepling me find her and bust the creep." Trunks said. "But I'm still mad at them. I dont wanna go home just to be sent right back." Goten was very angry at Trunks for letting personal grudges before his own mother. "I'll go." Goten said. "Maybe I can seduce the hot secretary." He looked all dreamy. "That wont be necesary." Trunks said. "Just fly away in the middle of the night, but make sure you take care of the guards first." Goten nodded. "Call your dad and tell him I'll be there in around two hours." Trunks nodded and dialed Vegeta on the cell phone. "What?" Vegeta asked. He sounded depressed. "I wanna tell you Goten is coming to help. He'll be there in around two hours." "If Goten can get away, why can't yo--" trunks hung up on Vegeta, because he was on to him.  
  
Vegeta threw his cell phone down. He rubbed his forhead, because he had a monster headache. he dialed up the police. "Hello? West City Police department?" He asked into the phone as soon as he heard it answered. "yes, this is the Sheriff." It said. "Sheriff Doofy, to be exact." Vegeta's eyes widened. I can't tell them she was kidnapped. Vegeta said. If I did, they'd consider me a Vigilante when I beat his brains out. "I um....I just wanted to know Everything that can possibly happen to KIDNAPPED hostage?" Doofy cleared his throat. "They can be strangled, beaten to death, burned to death, raped, molested, volated, and killed. Endless possibilitys. Oh. Or, they could be found alive and well. 50/50 chance." Vegeta's breathing speeded up. "Was wrong?" Doofy asked. "Someone kidnapped?" Vegeta tried to calm down. "Um, no." He put the phone in it's cradle. "I don't want anyone raping MY wife!" Vegeta said. Bulla ran in. "Papa, what does 'rape' mean?" Vegeta guestured at her. "Go play in your room......mommy will be back soon." Vegeta ripped a big old patch of hair right out of his head. Then, the phone rang. Vegeta picked it up. "Hello?" He yelled into it. "It's me!" Said a famiolier voice. "BULMA?!" Vegeta yelled. "Yeah. Its me." Vegeta was relieved. "Are you okay? Did that guy hurt you?" Bulma's breath shuddered. "he burned me with a cigeratte. Then I noticed how expensive the cigeratte was, and I asked him how many people he'd kidnapped to get that much money." Vegeta heard the man in the background. "I have to go. I love you!" The phone hung up. "GOD D*MMIT!" Vegeta yelled into the sky. He tried to track the call. It said, 'Micky Mouse' on the coller ID. "This guy knows how to hide his tracks." Vegeta resolved.He closed his eyes and concentrated really, really hard. "Maybe I can sense your life force, Bulma." he said to himself. He was used to talking to someone, but now sence she was gone and Bulla was playing, he was talking to himself. But he coulden't sense the life force. "Her life force is so tiny..." He said. "It's hard to sense." He layed down on the couch and tried to think. "Stupid fat guy! If I had the chance I'd chop him up into little peices and shove him into a meat griner and eat him like a hot dog." Then Vegeta screamed because he felt like screaming. 


	3. Vegeta thinks it will be great with Trun...

Part 2, Chapter 3  
  
Disclaimer: I do not ownDragonball Z  
  
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Goten bursted through the screen door. "I'm here!" He shouted. "Trunks said something about a fat guy, then his dad, then....." Vegeta stopped him because he was bouncing a ball on the ceiling. "Yes, but I wanted MY son, not you, so go away and leave me alone!" He chuncked the balkl right at Goten's forehead. It bounced off and hit the wall, and Vegeta caught it. "I know you don't mean that." Goten said. "But I can help you. Trunks can't." That brought Vegeta to wonder HOW COME Trunks coulden't help. But He didn't ask. "Go find her." Vegteta said. "Im tired, and I have to watch Bulla." "I have to have somewhere to start!" Goten said. "I can't just go outside and start looking in trash cans and everything! They could be in the next state by now!" Vegeta rolled on his back and bounced the ball on the floor. "My son could do it. He's stronger than you. WAY stronger." Vegeta tried to bounce the ball, but it hit the corner of the coffee table, and it rolled away. Goten hated it whenc Vegeta rubbed How strong trunks was in his face. "Do you want me to help you, or not?" He asked. He was getting roiyally P*ssed off at Vegeta. "You could have told Trunks to DRIVE away." Vegeta said. "He has a drivers liscence, you know." Vegeta walked across the living room and fetched the ball. But Goten snatched it away and threw it out the window. "My ball!" Vegeta cried. he looked out the window, but it had rolled into the swimming pool. '' I'll get you for that!" Vegeta growled. Goten was picking up the phone. "I'm calling someone." He said. " Someone who can help." He dialed a number, while Vegeta reached down trying to fetch his ball, but his arms weren't long enough. Then, he accidently pitched forward and landed with a splash, and he sank. "I dont care if I sink like a rock." He resolved. He liked it down here because it was quiet. But He coulden't hold his breath that long. He looked at and through the surface, he saw Goten looking around through the window, searching for Vegeta. Vegeta layed down flat and proceeded to try and go to sleep. He fainted.  
  
"Your so stupid!" Goten swore at Vegeta, followed by as many cussing words as he could name. "Why coulden't you figure out that if you go underwater and try to breath, your going to faint!" Goten wanted to slap Vegeta, but he knew that would cost him his life. Vegeta spat out sour tasting water. "Who didja call?" He asked. "A police?" Goten shook his head. "The proper word is cop. And no, I didn't call one. I hired a private invetigator." Vegeta groaned. "Somebody else to come see how stupid you are." He said. "I want Trunks. Where is Trunks? This is none of your buisness." Vegeta rolled, and he fell off the couch with a thump. "Ow." he said. "I think my ribs are broken." He layed there, out of breath. Then, somebody kicked in the door. "This is the F......B....................I!" Said a man. He sounded retarded. "Why did you have to kick in the door, stupid! I hired you!" Goten said. The FBI guy shrugged. "Whats the probelm here?" He puled out a heart shaped notebook and a barbie pen. There was a purple fuzz on the bottom. "Go away." Vegeta said. "We don't need your help. The one that needs help is you." Vegeta got up and walked up the stairs to go play with Bulla.  
  
Trunks wanted to go help Goten, because he was bored. The Charles kid was going on and on that Trunks needed to tae etiquitte classes. Then he bragged about how badly he treated his servants. "Shut up!" Trunks roared. He shoved a pillow into Charles' mouth. "Now, we're going to talk about ME!" He said. "Your going to go and distract the guards, while I steal a....um.....Golf cart and drive home." trunks knew he coulden't fly or someone would see him for sure. Charles spit out the pillow. "And what if I wont? I am a true honorable person, and I dont--" Trunks lit up a powerball. "I'll use it if you don't!" He said. You dont need a mirror to see how much he acts like Vegeta, do you? Charles didn't care if he died, but he decided to help. So he went outside and started dancing in front of the guards, and throwing money around, while Trunks climbed into a vacant golf cart and put the gas pedal to the floor, and it went about 30 MPH. Not very fast, but faster than the guards could possibly run. He figured he would be at his parents house in about an hour.  
  
Vegeta came back down the stairs. The FBI agent and Goten were playing chess. "Have you found her yet?" Asked Vegeta. "Why are you sitting on your behinds?" The FBI agent looked up. "Oh. Well, when was the last time you saw Bulma." He asked, still playing chess. "At the country ckub when the big fat man took her!" Vegeta said. "Then she called me. I still remember all her words......" The FBI agent could see Vegeta was clearly going mad. "She said um...... she said....she said-a...." He scratched his head. "Well fancy that. I don't remember. if she were here to make me something to eat, I would remember." He flounced on the couch. "I want her back! We gotta find her!" He started to cry and kick his feet. Goten patted Vegeta on the back. "Thas Okay." He said. Vegeta snatched Goten's hand away. "Don't touch me!" he said, then he bit Goten's finger. "OWWWWW!" Goten said. He nhoticed one of Vegeta's fingers was broken. He was going to weretch it to the side, but he decdied not to. "Maybe you should go to bed." Goten said. "We;ll do what we can on the streets. You need your rest." Vegeta nodded. "I'll help tomarrow, and--" The door bursted open. "I'm here!" Trunks said. He looked happy. Then he saw the FBI agent. "Oh no! Your the one that watched me rob the house and I got away from you!" He started to run out the door. "No, I won't arrest you." Said the FBI agent. "We're here to find your mother. She was kidnapped by aliens from the planet mars. They probed her." Vegeta shok his head. "No, thats not what happened at all! A fat guy took her away from me!" he threw another fit. "So let's go look!" Trunks said. The FBI agent nodded. "Okay." "Lemme go get my little sister." Trunks said. "She can help, too." "Be careful with Bulla." Vegeta said. Then he started towards his room. He heard the door slam a short time later.  
  
"Where should we start?" trunks asked. "I think a big fat man would go to....a trashy neighborhood with lots of scummy places to hide." Bulla was squirming. "What are we doing? Why did you wake me up to go walking in trailor trash neighborhood?" She was clearly upset. "A big fat man stole mother." trunks said. "We're gonna find him." Trunks didn't know if he WANTED to find her. She was so bossy and mean and touchy and edgy. The FBI agent had a magnifying glass and he was taking 1 step a minute, examining the ground. "Nothing over here." he said. Then he took out a rubber hot dog. "The fat man will smell the hot dog, and he'll come out. Then, we'll catch him!" Trunks looked at the hot dog. "I can't help but notice......that's a RUBBER hot dog. He can't smell rubber." The FBI agent shrugged. "I'm getting paid for trying, not succeeding." He picked up his rubber hot dog and gave it to Bulla. "What would I want with this ugly old thing?" She asked, throwing it across the street. The FBI agent had tears in his eyes. Trunks looked in a garbage can, and a cat jumped out and ran off. That's all that was in there. "Think, you stupid kid!" FBI said. " He woulden't be able to fit in such a compacted space! Look in places he could fit." Trunks dind't much care for being called a stupid kid, but he tried to supress his anger. The FBI agent held up a finger. "Oh, I've got a GREAT idea@!!" he said, and he ducked into a phone booth. "Oh, what's he gonna do now?!" Goten whined. "Come out in a Superman outfit?" "That woulden't suprize me one bit." Trunks said. Bulla was squiggling in Trunks' hand grip. Then, THE fbi AGNT CAME OUT!" He had a big bloodhound dog on a chain. "This dog's name is Smithzonian! He'll track down your wife!" Trunks looked disgusted. "She's not my wife, she's my mother!" He yelled.  
  
Vegeta layed down about 30 minutes ago, but he coulden't sleep! Ever since he'd been , married (about 15 years ago) He had someone sleeping with him, whether it be Bulma or another girl. (JOKING) So it was hard to go to sleep when you were in a big king sized bed by yourself. He kept groping for her, but she wasn't there, and he was sad. He was near tears and madness. "I wonder if she'll call again." He asked the fish in the fish tank. But they only swam.  
  
"Smithzonian sucks." Trunks said. "he coulden't find anything." Smithzonian ran out in front if a speeding semi. "Watch out for the-- *SQUASH*--truck." Smithzonian was no more. "Whats your name?" Goten asked. "You've been with us about 2 hours and we don't even know what your name is." The guy pulled out a card. "Agent Dan." He said. "FBI." Trunks grabbed the card and ripped it into a thousand peices. "Dan, your such a terrible FBI agent that once your through here, you'll never serve another person! We wanted to find my mother, and you thought I was her hhusband as opposed to my cranky old dad! And then you tried to find her with a dog, and he turned into a pile of ground meat from a semi truck!" Bulla wiggled again. Dan was sad because he thought he was a good FBI agent. "Do you have a pic?" he asked. "Its alot easier to find someone if you know what they look like." Trunks pulled out a pic of Bulma with her head in Vegeta's lap on a picnic trip. It was taken around the cell saga. "Oh. She's pretty." Dan said. "When I find her, can I hit on her!" trunks grumbled and took the picture back. "Not as bad as I'm going to hit on YOU!" He said. "That was cheesy." Goten said. Trunks brandished a fist. " That's her!" Dan said, and he pointed to a big fat brown headed lady. "That's not my mother." Trunks said. "Why would a good-looking guy like me come from her?" "And why would a good looking guy like your dad marry her?" Dan asked. Trunks was outraged. "First you want to hit on my mother, now you want to hit on my dad?! You disgust me!" Dan hung his head. He didn't think he should be judged.  
  
Vegeta decided he wanted to call his old friend, Kakarott. Kakarott(Goku) was busy training Uub, and vegeta missed him because now they were freinds. he dialed Goku's number. Goku picked up. "Who is it? I'm busy!" He said . "It's Vegeta." vegeta said. "Somebody stole Bulma away." Goku was silent. "Oh, hi Vegeta! Somebody stole her away?" "Yes." Vegeta said. "A big fat guy. maybe he killed her." Goku chucled. "Oh, maybe he did, but lifes full of maybe's! Maybe he TRIED to kill her, but she crawled away, and then she died in a ditch! Or maybe she even got tied to a train track like in the old Popeye cartoons!" Vegeta was sobbing. "Do you think that's what happened?" he asked. "Or maybe she got raped." Goku said. "But sometimes its good for women to have a little change of pace in bed." Vegeta coulden't beleive what he was hearing. "She's noT BORED of me so she got kidnapped!" He said. "A fat guy stole her!" "Oh." Goku said. "Well, I hope you find her! That is, of course, alive. No one wants to find anyone dead." Then Goku's phone hung up. Vegeta figured Uub did it because he wanted to train someore. Vegeta put a jumbo sized marshmellow on a coathanger and held it over the fireplace. It was crispy brown and smelled yummy, but his never turned out perfect, like Bulma's did. He pipped it into his mouth. It was almost burnt, but not quite there yet. It stuck to his lips and the top of his mouth. "I wonder." Vegeta said, "If I could talk to Bulma telepathiccly. Trunks is trying to learn how, maybe he can talk to her for me." But he doubted this would work with her small life force and no Kais around. Vegeta thought of the many things he could do to rescue her, if she was still alive. he didn't think he should be sitting here on his butt while a big fat guy slimed up his wife. So he decided to go and look for her in a different place than Trunks and the others. They were looking in ghetto neighborhoods and he thought he could look in rich neighborhoods, like the one he lived in. So he flew out the window. "Bulma!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He yelled as loud as he could, which was pretty loud. "BUlma, if you can hear me, answer!!!!!!!!" Nothing but a bat making a funny noise. "Bulma if you don't answer me your gonna be in trouble!" It echoed off a distant house. "It's hopeless." he said. "They could be on a plane to America by now." he sat down on a rock. "Your sitting on my head." Someone said. "Your head?" Vegeta asked. "Why would I be sitting on your head, when your a rock?" He flew off. Little did he know, he had been sitting on the fat guys head. "I'll never find her.......ever." Vegeta said. He went back home and landed on the couch, where he beat the sofa with his fists and kicked his feet.  
  
"This is hopeless." trunks said. "We might as well go home, and me and Goten might as well go back to school before we get our butts cooked." He sat down on a garbage can. Bulla went off to play in the sprinkler. "We can never give up!" Dan said. "Just like Sherlock Homes! Did he give up, when a giant hound was chasing him?" "Sherlock Homes was a fictional charectar." Goten said. "he was noithing but a THOUGHT. How can I be inspired by a thought?" Dan was quiet. He looked at the bloody remains of Smithzonaian and cryed. "Smithzonian DIED for you!" He said. "And this is the thanks he gets?" Trunks yawned. "He died chasing a squirrel." Trunks got up and brushed off his pants' seat. "I'm going home. I'm tired of this, and I want to tell dad it's hopeless and he needs to find another person to.....fulfill his needs with." "Maybe you shoulden't tell that to Papa." Bulla said. "he might get sad." She didn't want Vegeta to get sad. "Who cares if he gets sad." Trunks said. "he needs to learn that.....that.....well, Im sure there's something he needs to learn." And Trunks grabbed Bulla and took to the skys. "I'm outta here to." Goten said. "Nice meeting you, Danny." he flew off. "What about my pay?" Dan called into the sky. They were almost back to Trunks house when Trunks wanted to sit down and rest. he landed on a large, weird shaped rock. "Your sitting on my head." Said a voice. trunks jumped up like the seat was hot or something. He looked at a nasty, rolly-polly fat guy. He had wide nostrils and a pig nose. "Youe ugly." Trunks said. "I bet your mother put a bag over your head before she kissed you goodnight." The man stared at trunks. "Why are you so beat up?" Goten asked the man. the man was missing a finger, and he was all bloody. There was a huge gash on his forehead. The man started to cry. "There was a lady I kidnapped. I gave her beer because she was sad. Then she got drunk and started beating me up, then she left to go home, but she was going the wrong way because she was so wasted." He held up his hand, 4 fingers and a stub that used to be a finger. "This is what happens when you give a drunk a pocket knife!" The man sobbed. "Did the lady look like this?" trunks held out a picture of Bulma. "No, thats not her at all. She didn't look that manly." "Manly?" trunks asked, and he looked at the picture. It was a picture of Vegeta. "No, Sorry, this one."He said, and he held out a true pic of Bulma. "yeah, that was her. But that other fellow was at the country club and--AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" Trunks drop- kicked the fat guy, and he went miles and miles before thudding on the ground. "Now we have to find a drunk wandering around not knowing where she is." trunks said. 'This won't be easy." Goten shelided his eyes because the sun was coming up, and looked down the street. "No one there. Let's walk a little farther, because he said she went the opposite way from the house." Trunks nodded, and he put Bulla on his back and flew up high. "Maybe she went in a an alley." He said, landing. "But we better walk, because it would be hard to see her flying." Goten wasn't so sure, because he didn't think it would be hard to see a lady with electric blue hair. Bulla had a stick and she was bashing trash cans with it. She was having a great time.  
  
"I guess I'll call trunks and see if they've found anything." Vegeta groaned to himself. This talking to himself was getting easier minute by minute. he picked up his cell phone and he dialed trunks' cell phone. He picked it up. "Yeah?" He asked into the phone. "It's me, your dad." vegeta said."I was wondering if you had found anything so far." he said. "I'm curious." Trunks sighed. "Well, We found the fat guy. He said Bulma got drunk and cut him up, then she tried to walk home, but she was so drunk she went in the opposite direction, so we're looking for her that way." Trunks said. "Good." Vegeta said. "I'm not feeling so well. I coulden't get any sleep, maybe that's why! BUT HURRY UP AND BRING HER HOME SO I CAN GET SOME SLEEP!" Vegeta's words depleted into mindless, screaming sobs. Every once in a while, Trunks could make out Bulma's name or a small choppy scentance in the sobs, but he stopped trying, eventually. Vegeta heard the click of a cell phone closing, and he knew trunks had hung up on him. he didn't blame him. he would have hung up on someone if they had burst into sobs like that any day.  
  
"hey, over here!" Goten said. There were sounds of terrible commotion in an ally. A woman's voice was cussing in slurred words like she was drunk. "Are you okay, Miss?" Goten asked, going around the corner. Bulma was in the ally, but her face and hair was so dirty it was hard to tell. She was cursing out a trash can. "Here's your mother." Goten said. "But I'm not sure you really are going to like what you see." trunks came around the corner just in time to see Bulma pitch to the floor. Drool ran out of her mouth. When Trunks picked her up, one of her eyes opened. "Oh, issss you." She said. "You ssave meee, nottt that lowlife Vegeta..............." Her head dropped again. "You don't mean that. Your drunk." Bulla said. Even Bulla could tell. "You.....shuttttupppp, Bullaaaaaaaaaaaa..." Bulma said. Bulla recoiled. "Im gonna cuttttt of that fat.....little pricksssssheadddd." She said. She was cussing and saying more obscene things than Goten had ever heard her do before. "F*ckin B*tch Agnisssss and her stupid ugly partieeeeeeeee..." Bulma said. Trunks started flying with Goten having Bulla. "You just shut up MOM." trunks said. "What are you.....doing homefrom schoollllllllll?" Bulma asked. "You neeeeed to learnsome respect......." Trunks rolled his eyes and ignored her. Then he landed at his door and kicked it in. "We're home, Dad." trunks said. "Thank Freakin goodness!" Vegeta said, then he ran over. Bulma's head popped up. "Oh, hhhhhhhhhi Vegeta." She said, then she fainted.  
  
When Bulma woke up, Vegeta was sititng by her with a rag on her head. "What happened?" She asked. She looked at the time. It was 5:00 PM. "I was fainted for that long?" She asked, sitting up fast. trunks shook his head. "Sleeping aids." He rattled a bottle. "Tell us about the Kidnapping thingy." Vegeta said. "Was it funny?" "Of course it wasn't funny, dipsh*t." Bulma said. She was edgy because she had a horrible hangover. "Dont talk to me that way!" Vegeta roared. Bulma ignored Vegeat. "I'll tell you later." Bulma said. "It's no one else's buisness." Then she gave that Veggie a big hug. Veggie liked it. But at the back of his mind, he was thinking, (She called me......dipshot....or dip something). But he tryed not to let that bother him at all. "How's your head?" Trunks asked her. "You look like you fought a nasty fight, and cracked your head like an eggshell." Bulma rubbed the back of her head, covered in a bandage. When she was done, Vegeta felt it. He could see it full veiw because Bulmawas sitting in his lap, and he gagged 3 times because blood was leaking through. "Its fine." Bulma said. "But it hurts something awful because of my horrible hangover." Vegeta watched the banage get full and suddely wished her hair was still long. "Um, *GAG* I think you outta change that before we go to *Gag* bed, okay?" He coughed. Bulma nodded awkwardly. "There was this guy." She said. "He showed up after I.....defingered the burglar. His name was....DAN, and he gave me more booze. He also mentioned something about my husband being.....good-looking, and i was like, whoa, don't move in, and he told me not to judge him." She noticed Trunks and Goten and Bulla's gaping mouths. "What, you know the guy?" She asked. "Why, yes." Goten said. "We hired him....her....it.....to be our private investigator. I gess he had other ideas in mind." Bulma almost gagged. But not nearly as bad as Vegeta was, trying to look away from the bloody bandage. He needed an excuse for her to get up--fast. "Um, Bulma u are cutting the curculation in my legs and feet off." He said. But she only shifted her weight. "I think I need to wash dishes." Vegeta said. "I already did." Bulma countered. "I need a sandwich." "Trunks will make you one." "YOUR BLOODY GASH IS MAKING ME GAG!" Bulma was silent. He thought she was going to get up, but she handed him a rag. "What would I want this for?" Vegeta asked. "If it's grossing you out so much, hold that gay old rag over it. I'm telling the story of Dan, and your interrupting." Vegeta was sad, but he did anything and everything he could to stop seeing it. Thankfully, the rag worked, but somehow, knowing that warm blood was flowing beneath your fingers wasn't that comforting.  
  
Later, it was time for Trunks and Goten to go back to school. "Thanks for helping me find Bulma." Vegeta said. "I probley woulden't have picked her up, if I saw her that drunk." Bulma groaned. "Bye Trunks!" Bulla said. "Sorry mother set your lizared free." Trunks hadn't even thought of 'Demolitian Dude' since he was here. "Oh, they did? Well, they have a suprise for me, and I have one for them!" He jammed his hands in his pockets and straightened up. "Ineed6000dollarstopayfordamagethatididwithmygunimsorryillneverdoitagainiswe ar!" Vegeta nor Bulma got a word of that. "Slower." Bulma said. "Like a Japanese, not an American." Trunks took a deep breath. "I...........need......6000.......dollars........to.......pay......for.....d amage......that.........i........did......with.......my........gun.......im. ....sorry........illl.......never........do.......it......again......i...... swear........." Bulma and Vegeta gave him the open-mouthed gape. "What in the blue mother f......." Bulma slapped a hand over Vegeta's face. "What your dad means is, there's absolutly no way you could be so frggin stupid that i actually WORRY about your health!" Trunks knew he wasn't going to get what he asked for, but he decided to listen instead. "Shut up, I asked a favor, not for a lecture." Trunks said plainly. "A FAVOR?!!" vegeta roared. Bulla went into her room. "6000 DOLLARS IS NO FAVOR! ITS A SMALL FORTUNE!" He stomped his feet. "WE SHOULDEN'T HAVE TO CLEAN UP AFTER OUR INGORANT, FALIURE SON BECAUSE HE CAN'T GET A JOB, AND HE BLEW UP HIS SCHOOL WITH A TRAINING GUN!" Bulma usually told him to calm down by now, but she was joinging right in. "6000 DOLLARS IS MORE THAN A YEARS WORTH OF GROCERY MONEY!" She said. "WHAT WILL I HAVE TO BUY GROCERYS WITH, IF I GIVE YOU ALL THE MONEY?!" trunks shrugged. "OH, I DONT KNOW, THE 10 MILLION DOLLARS THATS JUST MAGICCLY LYING AROUND THIS MANSION?" Bulma shut up. he was right. "6000 dollars isn't even half of one of your paychecks." trunks said, not as mad. "Why can't you spare that?" Bulma was about to give in, but then she thought. "No, me and your dad refuse to wipe your @$$ for you every time you do something stupid." Trunks was taken aback. "A whole lotta help you freaks are!" He said, then he grabbed Goten's arm and they flew off. "freaks, are we?" vegeta asked. "WELL I HAVEN'T HELPED NOTICING WE'RE THE ONES WHO KEPT THE 6000 DOLLARS!" He yelled into the sky. trunks flipped him off, but Vegeta didn't see, because Bulma was in front of him, as well as the bloody gash.  
  
* * *  
  
It was the next mornin', and Vegeta, Bulma and Bulla were going to meet Akurei and Kilo at the mall so they could go shopping. Bulla and Bulma were exited, but Vegeta wasn't. "Just hurry up and get ready so's we can get this over with." Vegeta said. He was suprisingly grumpy after he and Bulma's 'passionate' night last night. For the reader's sake, I won't go into detail. Anyway, Bulla was already ready because all she had to do was brush her hair. Bulma had to fix her hair, put on make up, dress up nice, and make the bed and everything else. "If you would come help me make the D*mn bed, maybe I'd be ready faster." Bulma said. Vegeta decided not to say anything else, or he might actually HAVE to make the bed, and that was something he did not want to do. "Put on that.....red dress thingy you were wearing the nite before last at the country club." Vegeta said. "That one's all bloody, honey." Bulma said. She was frustrated because she had to change the sheets. "Im going to wear a shirt and shorts." Vegeta knew what a shirt and shorts meant in Bulma language. Really short hoochie shorts and a low cut shirt. Good enough. When she came down, he was right.  
  
When they got to the mall, it was really crowded. People were swarming everywhere. "Papa, we won't be able to see Kilo and his daddy in all these people." Vegeta realized Bulla was right. "Your right, Princess. We may just have to....not wait." Bulla got upset, and Bulma glared at Vegeta. "We will wait.' She said. "Don't worry." After 30 minutes, Akurei and his son still weren't there. "He's late all the time." Bulma said. "Let's just wait more." No sooner had she said that, then she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around. "hello!" Akurei said in his french Accent. "hey!" He said to Vegeta. Kilo was on his back, the normal grumpy frown tossed across his face. "Hello there!" Bulma said to him. he grunted. "When do we get to the toy store?" Kilo asked. Vegeta rolled his eyes. "When do we get to the clothes store?" Bulma asked. "I hate clothes!" Vegeta griped. "Never!" "But Papa, I like clothes." Bulla said. "Sure, me too. Who doesn't love clothes?" Vegeta asked. "You can't get enough clothes." Bulma wanted to crick back the broken finger until Vegeta screamed, but she didn't. "I kinda wanted to go to the puppy store." Akurei said. "I hear they got really cute puppys and kittens that love to play." Kilo decided he wanted to go there, too. Vegeta didn't like animals, but then again, Vegeta doesn't like anything. "I wanna go to the food court." he said.  
  
trunks was really mad. "How could my own parents betray me like that?" he asked. "I ask for a 6000 dollar measly amout, and they act like it's the end of the world. No one understands me." he grumped. Goten thought Vegeta and Bulma DID understand Trunks VERY well--they knew he was such a spoiled brat. "Well....." Goten said. "You grew up rich. So to you, 6000 dollars doesn't seem like much. But to a person like me, who grew up usually below average, 6000 dollars is like........2 years worth of what the whole house runs on. We coulden't watch TV for more than 3 hours a day because of the electric bill." Trunks thought of the many TV's in his house, the satellite channels, and everything else he had. Trunks wondered how much an electric bill costed. He wondered if it DID depend on the TV or not. "And we coulden't drink much." Goten said. "The water bill isn't very expensive to every family, but even 32 dollars on a bill was too much. So, we didn't drink much, and a couple times we had to drain the hot tub because it costed too much to keep the darn thing running." Trunks almost laughed. "Wow. I didn't think anyone was that poor." he said. "But still, my parents are Multi Millionairs, my dad being a prince and my mom being a CEO. That's only as fraction of what they earn." Goten snapped off his lamp. "You don't get it." he said. He was tired and he wanted Trunks to shut up.  
  
"It's not lunch time yet." Bulma told Vegeta. "So stop whining about the Food Court. I don't wan't you to get fat, then I have to look at you every day." Bulma knew Vegeta would never get fat because he worked out like 3 hours a day, but she tried to put something in his mind he woulden't eat because of. "If I was fat, that'd be cool." Vegeta said. "Nobody would mess with me because I could body slam them flat." "Nobody messes with you now." Bulma said. "If you haven't noticed, you have tons of muscles." They were sitting out on a bench while Akurei took the kids into the toy store to look at toys. "Why did Akurei want to look at toys?" Bulma asked. "It seems to me he's a little old to play with them." "Not to him!" Vegeta said. "Just the other day I walked in on him at Bulla's dollhouse. I pretended I didn't see, but I did, and it creeped me out royally." Bulma pulled out a heart notepad and a Barbie Pen. "Courtsey of Dan." She said as she flipped it open. "Akurei Birthday gift ideas........Barbie hottub playhouse...." She finished jotting it down, then she flipped into the back cover of the notebook. There was a little calemdar. "When is his birthday......?" She asked herself. It was November. She noticed Akurei's name wasn't on there. But Vegeta's was. In 3 days. She covered her mouth. "Oh me oh my...." She said. "What's wrong? I hate it when you say that." Vegeta said. he was grumpy today. Bulma pointed at the calender. "What, it's a fag heart notebook. What's there to look at?" Then he squinted really hard at his handwriting on the calender. "Prince....of.....all....saiyans'......birthday." he said, triumphantly. "Prince of all Saiyans Birthday." Then he looked at it harder. "My birthday means I get presents in.....1....2....3 days! 3 days." He said. Bulma nodded. "But I don't know what to get you beause we have everything almost." Vegeta shrugged. "I don't give." Akurei and the two kids came out of the toystore with bags. "The kids got alot of toys, huh?" Bulma asked. "No." Akurei said. "These are for me." Bulma didn't even want to look inside and see what he had bought. It was just too creepy to think that he was playing with kids toys. "Vegeta here told me a very strange story." Bulma said. Vegeta laughed behind his hand."He said you were in there playing with Bulla's dollhouse." "I was NOT playing with Bulla's dollhouse." Akurei said. "I was playing with MY dollhouse." Vegeta bursted out laughing and Bulma too. They were holding their stomachs. "I think I'm gonna wet myself!" Bulma screamed over her laughter. "I don't see whats so funny." Bulla said. "I mean, at least you weren't touching MY dollhouse." Kilo was standing there frowning and watching Vegeta and Bulma laughing. "SHUT UP!" He suddenly yelled. Vegeta sat up and wiped his eyes. "Dude, thats funny." he said. Akurei looked mad. Bulma kept laughing, and They all walked off. She got up and caught up soon. "You shoulden't be ashamed!" Bulma said. "Im sure every man gets urges to play with dollhouse, don't you, Vegeta?!" The comment almost got Vegeta laughing again. "N-no, Bulma, not the NORMAL ONES." Bulma laughed, but she didn't fall over. Akurei thought some good was coming out of their teasing; he hadn't ever seen Vegeta and Bulma laugh togather like that. "That's enough." He said. "I dont like being made fun of. That dollhouse is why Kilo hasn't got a mother. She used to make fun of me and call me queer." Vegeta and Bulma shut up. "Thats a new word." Bulla said. "QUEER!" two men who had been holding hands burst out in sobs. "What did I do?" Bulla asked, innocently. "You made the world a better place, Princess." Vegeta said. The two men ran off in stunned shame. "So, how many times have you bought extra peoples for your dollhouse?" Vegeta asked. "And what nationality are they?" If Bulma didn't know better, she'd swear this was interesting Vegeta. "My family is white humans, because I coulden't find Saiyans." Akurei said. "And they have....a mother, father, two boys, and a girl. They have three horses and a dog and an aquariam with 7 fish." "Wow, you memorize this stuff." Bulma said. Akurei jerked Kilo away from a fountain he was playing in. "You know how many pennies that people touched were in there?" Akurei asked. "Someone with AIDS could have spit on one, and if you get their spit germs in your mouth, you'll get AIDS." Kilo shook, and beads of water flew off his tail and hair. "Fine." He said, and he wrapped his tail around his waist, unlike his father who always kept his free. "AIDS can kill him, right?" Bulma asked. "I don't know about AIDS. We never studied about it in school, did you Bulla?" Bulla was in first grade. Of course she hadn't. She shook her head. "Half of the diseases on earth weren't around on planet Vegeta." Vegeta said. "Did you notice, Akurei?" Akurei shrugged. "let's go into that clothes store!" Bulma said, and she pointed at Clothestime. "I wanna go too!" Bulla said. So the three guys followed the two girls into the clothes store. "What do you think about this, Vegeta?" Bulma asked, holding up a strapless dress. "I like this." vegeta said, holding up a shirt that looked ripped to shreds. "You would LIKE it if i ran around, dressed like a whore, woulden't you?" Bulma said in a fake sweet voice. Vegeta nodded and grinned happily. "Sure." he said.  
  
We can't write about Trunks right now, sorry. He's sleeping. Sleeping is boring. Alright....he's sleeping with his shirt off. You don't want to hear about that, do you?  
  
Bulla and Bulma had about 4 bags all togather of clothes. "Bulma, you buy yourself a new wardrobe every day." Vegeta said. "What do you do with all these clothes?" Bulma shrugged. "I save them." They were sitting in the Food Court, so Vegeta would shut up. He took a drink from his straw cup and it was so cold it caused his face to go red. "hot flash?" Bulma asked. She liked to make fun of Vegeta getting older. "No, the drink is COLD." Vegeta said. He coughed two times, because the cold hitting the back of his throat was worse than a ball of hair. "Gotta hairball, Papa?" Bulla asked. Vegeta realized frightengly that if Trunks had said that, he would have knocked off his sorry head. "No, I do not." Vegeta said through gritted teeth. "I 'gotta' really cold drink. That's what." Bulla ate a french fry. vegeta picked up a french fry. "AH!" He screamed as it sizzled the skin on his fingers. "That smarts a whole lot." He shoved his fingers in his mouth. "That cold drink would be really handy, don't ya think?" Bulma dumped her chicken nuggets in her lap. "Oh, for the love of Pete!" she said. "Who's this...Pete?" Vegeta said. "I thought I was the only man in your life!" Bulma rolled her eyes. "Listen!" Akurei yelled at his son. "If you don't eat the D*MN FILLET O FISH or whatever the HELL it's called, I'm going to shove it up your nostrils until you crap it out!" KIlo screwed up his face, and he began to cry. "WWRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed. "Shut up, kid!" Vegeta said. "I'm trying to concentrate!" "On a Big Mac?" Bulma asked. vegeta stared at his food. Akurei clenched his fists. "I hope you blew your nose!" he said, and he picked up the 'Fillet O Fish' and was dangerously close to shoving it up the crying kid's nose. Bulma grabbed his arm. "Think of the children." Bulma said. He lowered the fillet o fish, and shoved it into Kilo's mouth. Then he moved his son's jaws up and down....up and down.....and then he thumped him in the Adam's apple, forcing him to swallow the intire burger. "Garsh!" Vegeta said like Goofy. "I'm a big fat snob, and I don't treat my children that bad." Akurei crossed his arms. "SORRY SON!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. "GUESS YOU'LL EAT IT NEXT TIME, HUH?" Kilo became aware that his breath smelled like Tic Tacs because he had been eating Vegeta's. Kilo cried louder. "That's abusive." Vegeta pointed out. Akurei realized that, so he stopped. 


	4. Things are going downhill

chapter 4  
  
Disclaimer: I d-d-don't o-o-own D-duh-duh-ragonball Z-Z, o-okay? WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!  
  
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Trunks was still tired, so he was still sleeping. Goten was playing cards with Charles, even though Charles didn't like Goten because Goten was poor. Goten was winning because he was good at Uno. Since our main Charectar, Trunks, is still sleeping, I don't see any reason to write about him right now. How annoying do you think it would be if someone wrote about YOU if you were sleeping? Well, frankly I'd think that would be pretty d*mn good to have anyone writing about me at all, but....  
  
Vegeta, Bulma and Bulla had gone home from the mall, and Akurei and Kilo had joined them. Akurei was still mad at Kilo for his terrible behaivor at the stupid food court thingy. "That burger costed me an intire 99 cents. What a little brat." Akurei kept whining. "You know how hard it is to get a decent job when you have a french accent. Do you?" He pounded the table. "If....it would be better, maybe I have 4 quarters? That's 100 cents." Vegeta said. He dug 4 quarters out of his pocket. He held them out. "Better?" He asked. Akurei took them with a smile. "Much better." He said. "So how have things been around here?" He asked. "Well, Bulma got kidnapped the other night by a big fat guy." Vegeta said. "So my son, trunks and Kakarot's son, Goten went to find her." Vegeta took a big old bite of applesauce, and it ran all down his face. It came to his attention that Bulla and Kilo were watching something out the window, but he thought nothing of it. He grabbed a napkin and wiped it off. Akurei nodded. "Wish my life was that exiting. I get up, go to my job at the gas station, come home, and sleep." vegeta took another bite. "Dont u single guys ever go to clubs, or anything like that?" Akurei nodded. "Once in a while, I'll getta one night stand." Vegeta and Bulma laughed really hard. "But it never lasts long." Said the depressed Akurei. Veggie and Bulma looked at eachother awkwardly. "Do you think he ever actually GETS one?" Bulma mouthed. Vegeta shook his head with a big old grin. Akurei was staring at his pink placemat. Bulla ran up to Vegeta. "Papa, Papa!" She screamed. Kilo was pulling on Akurei's pants. "Daddy, daddy!" He said. "WHAT?!" The two fathers roared at the same time. Vegeta's was gentler sounding, though. "Can I have a Horsie? There was just a man riding a horsie down the road!" Bulma jumped out of her chair. "No no no no no no no! The answer is NO!" She was gripping Vegeta's arm so hard her fingers were white. "No! Your not going to get her one, are you Vegeta?!" Vegeta looked up at Bulma with a look of someone who is very angry. Then he got up and dragged Bulma into the living room. "What am I supposed to say?" he asked feircly. "Just tell her 'no'? Just like that?" Bulma nodded, her hands on her hips. "You say it to Trunks all the time, but it usually comes out 'NO WAY YOU D*MN LITTLE BRAT'."Vegeta looked at the floor. "But this is different." "HOW is it different?" "Fine." Vegeta said. "YOU tell her so she'll spare me the drama." So they walked back in the kitchen, where Bulma promply told Bulla no, and Bulla threw a fit so she got sent to her room. It had just taken a simple no from Akurei to make Kilo shut up. Vegeta felt very bad, and he wished that the stupid man who rode his stupid horse down the stupid street were dead.  
  
It was time for Vegeta and Bulma to go to sleep, but they coulden't because Bulla was screaming and hollering and pucning the ground as hard she she could. "SHUT UP!" Bulma screamed. her eyes had popped open for the 15th time that night. Vegeta's had never closed because Bulla was so annoying. "We have to do something about this mess." Bulma said, putting a pillow over her ears. "We could send her with Trunks?" Vegeta asked, meaning it to be a joke. "OKAY!" Bulma said. When she learned Vegeta wasn't serious, she was very dissapointed. "What did we do wrong with this d*mn child?" Bulma mumbled. Vegeta thought of all the times Bulma had told Bulla no and he had done her bidding. "Maybe it's because she's a girl." Vegeta said. "Maybe girls are stubborn and mean. Like someone in this room." Bulma groaned, and pounded the pillow into her ears so hard Vegeta thought it would go into her brain. But one night of no sleep was enough for Vegeta. He knew what he had to do.  
  
"So which one won't die?" Vegeta asked the shriveled old lady. He was at a.....Horse Ranch?! What are you thinking, Vegeta? Bulma's going to KILL you! Well,their marriage is none of our buisness. "It will die, eventually. His name is Philocteetee." Vegeta laughed. "What a stupid fag name! Gimme a horse that doesn't sound like a priss! The lady trotted out a beige colored Palimino horse. "His name is Mr. Brown." Vegeta shook his head. "My daughter needs one who isn't boring." She trotted out a solid brown horse. "His name is Caca." She said. "Please do not laugh, but my granchildren named him." vegeta thought. "I like this one better, but lets see more.' He walked down the hall of horsie stalls. He wanted Bulla's horse to be perfect. Vegeta eyed another Palimino cream colored horse in a stall. As soon as it saw Vegeta, it tried to kick his @$$. "I like this one!" Vegeta said. The lady came up. "His name is freakinmeanwaterkappa. But we call him Kappa for short." (Kappa is a japanese water demon in a legend). "Cool!" Vegeta said. "Get im out!" He watched as the lady took him out. he was in chains, and as soon as he was free, he kicked tge lady and her head bashed against a rock. "Kappa likes to lift up his tail and CRAP on desighner rugs." She said with disgust. "Good thing we don't have any." Vegeta said. "Hi there, Kappa." Kappa blew a ball of snot in Vegeta's face. "UGHIO!!!" He screamed. "That was sicky!" He wiped his face with a hankie, that he got from his pocket. "I like this kappa. How much." "(Censored)"*The price was real high* "WHAT THE HOLY HE**?" Vegeta yelled. "That's too much for a horse!" But then he thought about his beauty sleep, and how grouchy Bulma was when she didn't get sleep, so he gave the lady a wad of bills. "So, does he sleep in the garage?" Vegeta asked. "Does he eat.....dog food?" *So, Vegeta went through a long and perilous lesson about what Horses eat and where they sleep.  
  
Vegeta swung open the living room door, holding the horses bridle, which was attached to the freakin horse. "IM HOME!" He yelled. Bulma ran in. "Hi, honey. Whats that u got there?" He stepped into the living room,and the horse followed. "TAH DAHHH!" He said. Bulma's face screwed up. "i told you NO!" She yelled, and Vegeta was caught in a Barrage of painful slaps. "Do you know how much these dumb animals cost?" She was so mad, she thought the horse looked 10 times more handsome than Vegeta right now. And at this moment, she loved the horse 10 times more than Vegeta, too. "Your such a freak!" She ran up the stairs and into their room, and locked the door. Vegeta shrugged. He wanted to show Bulla her present right now. "PRINNNNNCESSSS!!!" He yelled. He heard her trotting down, screaming for a horsie. When she walked into the room, she ran up and hugged the horsie. "Thank you papa thank you papa thank you papa thank you papa...." She went on and on, and Vegeta lead her and Kappa outside and watched her ride him for a while. He thought she was really good for a 7 year old. Then, he figured he outta go up and check on his wife, so he started up the stairs. He didn't hear anything, so he kicked in the door. She wasn't in there, but the window was open. "Funny. I never heard her come out." Vegeta said. There was a note, written on the heart shaped paper tacked to the wall. She often left him notes when she went out shopping, so he wripped it off the wall and read it. She was so mad when she wrote it, her words dug into the paper and ripped. It said, 'Dear Vegeta you troll, your so stupid i told you not to get a horse for her and you obviously dont care what i think so im LEAVING you here all alone! I dont know when or if i'll be back! Toodles!" Vegeta stared at the bottom of the paper. It usually said 'love Bulma' with big old hearts that were out of proportion, but not this time. he crumped the note in his hand. "She'll be back tonight." Vegeta said. "Without me, she has no one to get her jollies with." For that, he thought was what she only cared about. Vegeta went into the living room and dialed Akurei's number. When he picked up, Vegeta laughed into the phone. "Bulma thinks she left me." Vegeta said. "But she'll be back." Akurei cleared his throat. "She's HERE.' Akurei said. "Annoying the hell out of me. If I had a .34 calliber rifle I'd--" Vegeta rolled his eyes and interrupted. "Lemme talk to her." Vegeta said. He heard talking in the background, and he heard Bulma in the background saying 'I DONT WANNA TALK TO THAT SON OF A *BLEEP* WHO DOESN'T EVEN LIKE ME ONE BIT!" God she sounded annoying. "I get the drift." Vegeta said in the phone. "Tell Bulma to take a chill pill." And he hung up the phone. Boy, was he mad. He coulden't beleive she had such nerve.  
  
Trunks hung up the phone, a look of sheer agonizing suprise on his face. "What is it?" Goten asked. "What's wrong? Lemme guess, It's a new enemy." He sighed, and got ready to fly away. "Nope, worse." Trunks said. "My mom and dad are separated. My mom left dad for buying a horse, and she doesn't know if she'll be back. " "Wait wait wait, back up." Goten said. "Bought a horse? Why did he do a stupid thing like that?" Trunks shrugged. "Probley my little sister wanted it." "But......why would ur mom leave ur dad? I thought she loved him, or whatever?" Trunks shrugged. "I guess she's tired of him not doing what she asks. I mean, he NEVER does." Goten nodded. "Trunks....um, do you think she'll come back?" To Goten's suprise, Trunks laughed. "I don't know. She's staying with that single dad, Akurei. Vegeta says that Akurei said they're just friends, but I don't know. That Akurei guy is really good looking, and everything, and I don't know if she will." Then Trunks' eyes got big. "But dad relys on mom for like....everything! Cooking, cleaning....washing his clothes, AND maintaining his precious 'gravity room'." Goten nodded. "Your right! And if she stays gone, the money will run out. Your dad doesn't work." Trunks shook his head. "Mom will send checks to dad, I know she will, because of Bulla." (Did you notice Im just using this paragraph to explain everything thats going on? =))"Okay." Goten said. "But I think mother will come back." Trunks said. "She was probley so angry she wasn't thinking straight."  
  
"Oh, GOD!" Bulma yelled. "he makes me so MAD, going out to buy a horse when I asked him not to!" She was, for the 17th time, explaining to Akurei why she was so mad at Vegeta. "I know, I know." Akurei said. "Can I please, please go to sleep? I'm sooooo tired." Bulma paced back and forth across the kitchen. "I don't know who he thinks he is!" Bulma said. "He has to listen to me SOMETIMES! That's not fair that I have to make his sandwiches, draw his baths, and fix the gravity room! He should have to listen to me!" Akurei looked at the tile on his dirty kitchen floor, and it suprised him when there were no grooves in it from her pacing. "I think your overreating" Akurei said. "He really wanted to talk to you, but you woulden't talk to him." Bulma made a childish sound. "Well, Im going to ignore him for at least a week so he knows what it is like to make me MAD!" Akurei shook his head. "That's stupid." he said. "Your acting like Kilo here." Kilo was playing with a truck in the kitchen floor. The heat between Kilo and Akurei had dissolved. "I am not acting like a 7 year old! Mr. Vegeta can't take care of himself and listen to me at the same time, then we'll see how far he gets." "Okayyy...." Akurei said. "But what if this goes so far and you go back and Vegeta doesn't want you back? What if he finds someone else and you get divorced!" Bulma shrugged. "Of course vegeta will want me back! Nobody else has the patience to waide on him." Akurei nodded. "That's true. And the guys like me who do stuff for themselves never get girls." Bulma hit Akurei in the head. "Stop wallowing in self pity. You wanna wife, buy one on the internet." She ran back to the back of the small apartment.  
  
Vegeta was watching Bulla play outside with the horsie and thinking about things. There was a pack of trunks cigerattes(Vegeta knew Trunks had accidently left them there when he came home to search for Bulma) on the counter. The feeling he had was intense stress, and he knew what cigerattes could do.....They could give you temporary relief, and then you pay for it with your life with lung cancer. (My poor uncle!) Vegeta shrugged. "Im strong enough to beat a stupid old lung cancer." And he popped a cigeratte in his mouth and lit it up. This wasn't his first one. Maybe his seventh, but Bulma didn't know that. The lighter burnt Vegeta's fingers because he was new at this. "Yeow!" He screamed. Then he inhaled, and he sputtered and coughed like a 70 year old with Emphazimia. "Yuck!" He exclaimed. "That's awful!" Vegeta spit out the cigeratte. He had forgotten their terrible taste. He already didn't feel to well, and he didn't want to throw up, so he threw the cigeratte down on the ground and mashed it with his shoe. Then he went into the kitchen, and he grabbed a beer. That was another way he could sometimes forget temporarily all his troubles, getting drunk. He knew how incredibly stupid drinking was, but hey, he was a man and his wife would be gone for a while. He may as well enjoy being the closest thing to single he ever would be again, or at least that's the way Vegeta chose to look at it. Mentally, this whole thing disturbed him. He brought the bottle up and took a long drink. Veggie didn't really like the taste of this stuff that Bulla called 'pee pee water' but it was better than cigerattes, and really cold. So he guzzled the intire thing down, and he was going to have another, but then he remembered he was Bulla's only guardian right now and if he got drunk he might do something really, really stupid. That was Vegeta. So he thought of other ways he could forget what was happening to him. "I know!" He said, out loud. "I'll go train so hard my muscles feel like freakin rubber....then, I'll concentrate on the pain, not the wife leaving me thing." So he went out to the gravity room and trained hard for about 5 hours. When he came out, his muscles were extrememly rubbery and painful. He usually took periodic breaks in between. Vegeta put a towel around his neck because he was sweating like a pig, and took a drink of the soda he always carried out to the gravity chamber. Then he crushed the can and littered it on the front lawn. Breaking laws, even small ones, gave him a since of satisfaction, like it does everyone.  
  
"Did you get the money yet?!" Lutenant Bonerz yelled into his most rebellious student's face. "I SAID, DID YOU GET THE MONEY GET?! trunks wiped spittle off his face. "No, my parents are mean. Like you. Your mean." He was putting on his 'little kid' act. Laughter bursted out, but Charles didn't laugh. "WELL YOU BETTER GET IT OR I'LL WORK THE MONEY OUT OF YOUR SWEAT!" (He meant Trunks was going to do alot of pushups) "NOW YOU DROP DOWN AND GIMME 500!" "12345678910..." Trunks counted as he did 500 pushups in his lightning speed, and jumped back up, not even sweating. "That was easy!" Trunks said. "My dad makes me do 5000 in 300X gravity, you dolt!" Bonerz grabbed Trunks by the neck and shook him all around. Then he remembered that was child abuse and put him down. (HA HA this next part is great because Trunks gets his revenge)Trunks went behind Bonerz. Bonerz thought that trunks was going back to his tent to think about his disrespect. "That's right, soldier!" Bonerz said. "You go back and think about how worthless you are!" Trunks eyed the back of Bonerz, debating on whether to pound him or just give him a black eye, when he saw them. White boxer shorts, sticking out of Bonerz' pants. Trunks did the only thing he could think of.....grabbed the back of them and yanked, half as hard as he could, which was pretty hard. Bonerz thought he was going to be ripped in two! "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" He screamed, and whirled around. "SOLDIER!" He screamed, and he chased Trunks. Trunks flew up into a tree. "I don't know how you just did that." Bonerz said. "But you come down, right this very instant." Trunks shook his head. "No! I won't!" He spit on Bonerz' head. All the other students in the class were laughing hystericcly. "COME DOWN, MAGGOT!" trunks picked up a fire ant and tossed it on Bonerz. It sank it's pinscers into his arm. "OW!" he screamed. He tossed the ant off and proceeded to try and scale the tree! "OH NO!" trunks said. "If he get's up here, I'm as good as dead!" He climbed higher. Bonerz was on the first branch. second. third. trunks leaped to the next tree. "You stop it right now!" Bonerz said, climbing down and getting on the other tree. trunks kept moving, and Bonerz tried to catch him for a suprising three hours.  
  
"Your not cleaning out your sink right." Bulma grouched. "I do everything myself around here." Akurei said. "I think that I know how to clean a sink!" Bulma grabbed the S.O.S pad from Akurei. "No, you have to SCRUB IT HARD, or the food stuck to the bottom of the sink will get all over the dishes, and then they'll taste and smell bad. And if you put oranges down the drain, it'll smell better." Akurei grinned. This would be okay, having a 17-year housewife to tell him what he'd been doing wrong. "And, I noticed something else that disturbed me. You don't clean your toilet. And when you do, you don't do it good enough!" She conked Akurei on the head with a toilet plunger. "All of you men are helpless." (Bulma's just saying that because she's mad. But without men, she woulden't be here, and if men can make babies, they can't be helpless, can they)She grabbed Akurei's shirt sleeve and drug him into the bathroom. "Now put this toilet plunger down there." "This toilet doesn't flush." Akurei said. "You have to use the other bathroom; this toilet's broke." He didn't move. "That's my whole point." Bulma said. Put it down there. The suction will pull out whatever is stuck." He put the toilet plunger down there, pressed down hard and pulled up. Akurei's ROLEX watch, A Barney the Dinosaur toy, and other things were in there. "See what I mean?" Bulma asked. She put some toilet paper in the toilet and flushed it down. "See how easy it is to fix everyday problems?" Akurei nodded. "Now can you show me how to get rid of those ugly scum rings in the bathtub?" Bulma laughed. "I'm suprised you even know how to MAKE a bath. I have to do it for Vegeta." They both got a good laugh out of that, even though Vegtea was Akurei's best freind. Bulma showed Akurei that Scrubbing Bubbles was the best way. Akurei thought Scrubbing Bubbles were a cheap way to get high, but he'd never tried it. He kept the bottle under the cabinet for emergencies.  
  
Vegeta's muscles hurt really bad. The only thing that ever helped was a bath. But the only problem was that Vegeta didn't know how to draw a bath. He stared at the empty porcelain. It was one of those fancy baths built for husbands and wives, you know the ones with the shelves you can put the candles on? He tried to imagine water inside it. But it didn't work, no suprise. "Maybe it's this thingy." He said to himself. He tapped the shower head. "Hello? Water?" He stepped inside the bathtub and looked into the shower head. His hip hit the botton, and water sprayed all in his face. "*COUGH COUGH* Gosh." Vegeta was spitting out water and stuff. As soon as his hip left the button, the water stopped because he hadn't pushed the button in far enough for it to stay. "More?" Vegeta said. "Only not in my face." But then he realized that this was not the right way to put water in the bath. This was for a SHOWER. He tapped and hit on the other device, the faucet. Then he saw the two nobs underneath it. he sat down in the bath and turned the hot water nob all the way up. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!" vegeta yelled so loud Bulla heard outside. He was scorched and blistered. He turned the other knob up as far as it would go, too. Now both hot and cold were as high as they could go. "Perfect." Vegeta said.He's wearing shorts, because I don't wanna write about a naked Vegeta. Heck, I dont even wanna imagine a naked Vegeta! The bath water was really smelly though. That's when he noticed an ugly brownish greenish ring around the bath. "EW!" He said. Bits of the nasty substance was coming off in his bath water. "Coulden't you have cleaned before you left?" Vegeta asked. Then he cursed himself. He decided he wanted to call Bulma on her cell and see if she would talk to him. He grabbed his cell phone(Dont ask why he had it by the bath, what a dumb*ss) and dialed the number. It rang and rang. The beep came on for the cell's voice mail. "This is Bulma. Leave me a message and I'll get back to you if your worth it. Leave your message after the annoying beep." Vegeta took a deep breath. "Its Vegeta. Pick up." he said. Nothing. "I know your there. Pick up the phone right now." Still nothing. "I managed to make a bath for myself." Vegeta said. Bulma picked up the phone. "Really? YOU!" She was laughing hard. "That's enough." Vegeta said. "I needa know how to get rid of soap scum rings in the bath, okay?" Bulma was silent for a while. "Im trying to decide if I should tell you. Making your first bath AND cleaning it is a little much for you." Vegeta was sad. "Why do you have to be such a B*tch? I just called to say hello and this is the thanks that I get." "Maybe I didn't WANT you to say hello right now." Vegeta sighed. "What can I do to make you happy at me again?" "You figure it out, Poindexter!" Bulma said. "Buh bye!" She hung up on poor Vegeta. He was really sad. But knew what he must do. He would ask Trunks what to get her, and shower her with gifts. Then maybe, she'd come back and cook for him. It made Vegeta hungry just thinking about it, but he didn't know how to make anything.  
  
*RING RING* "You don't answer that Cell Phone, Soldier!" Bonerz spat into trunks' face. "Your not even supposed to have Cell Phones in the physical punishment room!" Trunks decided to make up a herrendous lie. "Well, My mother is.....she has problems with her....her hips, and sometimes she falls, and she lives all alone....so sometimes she needs someone she can call to send paramedics after her." Bonerz raised a brow. "I met your mother AND your father. They seemed perfectly happy together, wcich means they must live together, and your mother's hips looked fine." trunks tried to think of another lie to cover up his first one. "Well, dad is away on a buisness trip in the Himalayas, and my mothers hips only act up on some days. She called me this morning and told me today was a bad day." Trunks smiled because he had managed to fool Bonerz. He could see it in his face. "So can I take this call?" trunks asked. But quickly, he added, "Actually, I don't care what you say, Im taking it anyway." He stepped out of the Physical Punishment room and flipped open the phone. He had seen on the caller ID that it was from his dad's cell phone. "What is it, Dad?" He asked. vegeta noted that he sounded realived. "Is it important? I hope so, so you can keep me out longer.....Im in the physical punsihment room....may I tell you how much I dispise you for sending me here?" Vegeta cleared his throat. "Son, Im not even going to ask you what you did to land yourself in Physical Punsishment this time, or what your doing in there, but I am going to ask you something important." Trunks wondered what it could be. "As you know, me and your mother.....are separated at the moment, due to reasons beyond my will." trunks was suprised because he had always thought that if they sepearated, Vegeta would be the one to leave because he was such a jerk. "And I want to shower Bulma with gifts so that maybe she will come back and fix me a lunch." What a selfish reason. Trunks thought, and he said into the phone, "So you want me to tell you what to get her?" "yes." Vegeta responded. A blowdryer was running in the background, so Trunks figured that Vegeta had just been in the bath. "I don't know." Trunks said. "I've never really gotten a girl anything...not even my girlfriends." Vegeta thought about Gohan's daughter, Pan, and Rememered trunks had gotten her something on her bithday. "I just call them every day on the phone, and that seems to be enough." "What about that time she had a birthday?" Vegeta asked. "I rememer you spent most of your allowance savings on a present for her. What was it again?" trunks was embarrased. "It was......a new stereo and a whole bunch of CDs." he said. "But mother woulden't like those because she's not young and hip. But whatever you do, don't tell her that you want her to come home and make you a lunch." Vegeta heard a raw voice in the background, calling trunks' name. "Gotta go, dad. Seeya." Trunks clicked the cell phone closed and stepped into the Physical punishment room. "Bout time you got back, soldier. Now, I want you to do 100 chin-ups on the bar. NOW!" Trunks ran over, and he grabbed the Chin Ups bar. He lifted himself up 100 times, his chin going over the bar, in about 3 minutes. He was running on slow today because he had just been chased for 3 hours by Bonerz.  
  
"Could I have a sandwich?" Akurei asked. "I'm really hungry, and I'm tired from all that training." Bulma got up, and sloppily fixed him a sandwich. "Merci." Akurei said. (French for 'thank you' or 'please')He grabbed it and began eating. "I wonder what Vegeta will choose to do for me." Bulma said. "Maybe he will get us tickets on a boat cruise, or to the Carribean!" Akurei looked at her. "Your dreaming." He said. "After all you put him through, you really think he'll get boat tickets? I don't know if he even wants you back, for Christ's sake." Bulma's eyes got wide, and her mouth opened into a big old 'o'. "Of course he does! What would he do without me? I cook his food, and I clean his gravity chamber." Akurei shrugged. Kilo suddenly ran up. "Daddy! Daddy's friend's wife!" he was running around Bulma's legs. "What is it?" Akurei asked. "What in the name of god is so exiting?!" Kilo jumped into Akurei's lap. "They're having a special at Putt Putt golf! Tickets are only $5.95, but only today! We gotta go, please please please?" "Wellll." Akurei said, going to say no because he was tired, "Sure, fine. We'll go!" Bulma ran into the kitchen. "I'll make water bottles and sandwiches!" Akurei rolled his eyes. He was awfully tired of having Bulma around. She was a neat freak sometimes, and she was VERY beyond all purpose annoying. Then he got an idea. "I know!" He said to himself so Bulma coulden't hear, "I'll tell Vegeta to meet us there, and neither one will know the other one is there!" He raced to the old fasioned phone on the wall and dialed Vegeta's number. "Vegeta! Vegeta!" He said as soon as it was picked up. "I've got something to invite you to...I want you to come to Putt Putt golf with me an Kilo. Bring Bulla, too." Akurei saw Bulla as a way to get Vegeta and Bulma back togather. He had a plan to tell her to do. Vegeta was silent for a moment. "Isn't Bulma staying with you? I won't come if she's going to be there because she will make fun of me." Akurei made up something, not knowing how mad it would make Vegeta. "NO!" Akurei said. "She's staying with....um.....Yamcha!" Vegeta's blood began to boil, and he got more angry that he'd ever been. He screamed so loud Akurei's ear was going to fall off, "NO WAY! NOT HIM! ANYONE BUT HIM! GOSH IM GOING TO SMASH HIM IM GOING OVER THERE RIGHT NOW AND SHOW HIM WHOS BOSS GOSH!" Akurei knew Vegeta was dangerously close to dropping the phone and running to Yamcha's to kill him. Akurei had forgotten that Bulma and Yamcha were X-boyfriend/girlfriend and they had almost gotten married, but then Bulma met Vegeta and Blah blah blah, you all know the story by now. Vegeta was really funny about Bulma hanging out around Yamcha. "NO!" Akurei said. "Dont go over there yet......After Putt Putt we can both get revenge on....Yamcha." Akurei thought that Vegeta would stop wanting to smash Yamcha if he saw that Bulma was not really staying with him. But he was wrong.(Oooohh.. can you predict what's going to happen to Yamcha......for no reason at all? I can, and it won't be pretty....poor Yamcha! He's one of my favorites!)  
  
Vegeta showed up at Putt Putt with Bulla to meet Akurei and Kilo. They were already here, as Vegeta could see. The car was parked in the driveway. He wondered why they hadn't capsuled it. Probley to show off the new car they had gotten for cheap from the Capsule Corp. "Papa, where's Kilo and Kilo's daddy?" "They're already inside the park, Princess." "Well then, where's Mommy?" Vegeta's breath caught in his throat. Should I tell her? He thought. He decided on not. "Um, Bulla, Mommy is staying at a freinds house for a while, she won't be back for.....i don't know when." He was hoping Bulla woulden't ask anymore questions, and his prayers were answered. Thank Supreme Kai! Vegeta noticed Kilo and Akurei as he entered the park. What he didn't notice was the very slim, blue haired pretty lady buiying cokes at the snack stand with her back to them. "Hey, buddy." Akurei said. Bulla and Kilo wandered off to play mini golf. "Let's play some golf." Vegeta said. "I bet I can beat you!" Akurei stood still. "What, are you waiting for somebody?" Vegeta asked. "If so, who? If it's Yamcha, I'll-" Just then, the pretty, slim lady turned around. Bulma saw Vegeta and Vegeta saw Bulma at the same instant. Akurei realized this. Their eyes locked on eachothers for a while, then Bulma turned away. She looked furious. She stomped toward Akurei. "WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?!" She spat in his face. "I um....I um....I thought she was staying with Yamcha?" Vegeta said. "Yamcha?" Bulma asked. "Why would I stay with a dumb*ss like him! See what low expectations Vegeta has for me?!" She started punching blindly at her husband. He caught her wrists in his hands and said, "You set us up, didn't you?!" Akurei whispered something in French and turned his head. "WHAT?!" Vegeta asked. "So we can hear you, NOW!" Bulma was still struggling in Vegeta's iron grip, and he thought it was pretty funny. "I said 'Oui'(Pronounced 'wee'), the french word for....Yes." Vegeta growled. "Why did you do this? You know she doesn't want to see me!" Bulma's fingernail drove itself painfully in one of Vegeta's hands that was holding her wrists. He let go on reflex and she slapped him right across the face. A large red mark was left. "First you think I cheated on you because you think I was a whore, then u come here because you saw his car! Your stalking me, I know you are...." She went on and on. "SHUT THE H*LL UP!" Akurei said. "He came here because I told him to. He didn't have any idea you were hear. He thought you were staying with Yamcha because I told him you were, because Im tired of you guys fighting, and frankly Bulma, Im tired of you living in my house!" Bulma's eyes teared up. "You don't like me living with you?" Akurei shook his head. "Not one bit." Bulma's face got mad again. "Well that doesn't change the fact that he--" Akurei shoved Bulma and Vegeta both in a roller coster cart(Sometimes they have little carnival things at Putt Putt) and pushed down the bar. It locked so they couldent move. They were stuck side by side on a roller coaster! Bulma struggled. "Let me out!" She screamed. "Right now! Right now!" Vegeta clapped a hand over her mouth. "Kai! Do you ever shut up? It's locked, so you might as well sit back and enjoy the ride." Bulma recognized that as the exact same line Vegeta had said to her on their honeymoon nite. That P*ssed her off even more than before. And she hated roller coasters. Akurei hoped this would help them like eachother again. He watched as the roller coaster started up. Vegeta liked it pretty well, because he was used to flying in circles and loops. So it was nothing new to him. But you coulden't tell by looking at his face. Bulma was screaming and yelling and on occasion she would slap Vegeta in the face. Once he grabbed her wrist and said something in her face. Akurei thought it was a threat. Then he wrenched her wrist backwards so she screamed, than turned the other way. When it ended, Vegeta had his arms crossed and a sour look on his face. "I want to go home." He said. "Go ahead!" Bulma said. "It'd make MY DAY much happier!" Vegeta was so mad he wanted to blow off her head. But he didn't. "You do realize that I could destroy you at any minute, right?" Vegeta said. He lit up a powerball. "With this little ball, I could destroy u! You'd be dead before you hit the freakin ground!" Bulma wasn't even scared. "Ha! You'd never hurt me because you love me too much!" "Wanna bet your LIFE on it?" he said. He shot the powerball so close to her face she could feel the heat of it. It flew into a tree. "Um....vegeta...." Akurei said. Vegeta ignored him. "I could scratch your eyes out!" Bulma said, making her fingers with really long fingernails into hooks. She looked like an idiot. "No, you love ME too much." Vegeta said. Bulma swiped at Vegeta's face. Not as close as he had shot the powerball, though. About 2 inches away from his face. You could tell she was trying to make sure she didn't hit him. "Vegeta!" Akurei said, more urgently. Vegeta ignored him further. "Your really mean!" Bulma said. "Your really bossy!" Vegeta said. "Your really stupid!" Bulma said. "Your really.....really....freakish!" Bulma bursted out laughing at the insult. "Freakish?" She said. "When did you think of that one?" "Vegeta!!!" Akurei said. Vegeta ignored him. "VEGETA YAMCHA'S HERE!!" Akurei said. Yamcha was walking toward them. "Hi Gu--" Yamcha was punched into a tree so hard 3 teeth flew out. A large bruise appeared. Bulma stood back and watched. You could tell she really wanted to cheer for Vegeta. "What was that for?" Yamcha asked. Vegeta drop- kicked him in the stomach, and he flew clear over the golf feilds. Then, vegeta took to the air and went after the flying Yamcha. Bulma got on Akurei's back and they flew over to watch. Yamcha was getting the beating of his life. Vegeta was punching him in the face and stomach. Blood flew out of his mouth and nose, and ears as well. He still hand't lost consience. Vegeta applied a swift kick to Yamcha's ribs, breaking three of them. Yamcha then lost concience. Vegeta drop kicked Yamcha into a nearby hospital. "JUST A REMINDER!" Vegeta screamed after him. "YOU HAVE TO MOW MY LAWN EVERY TEUSDAY FOR NO PAY!" Yamcha had never heard of that before.  
  
Vegeta, the next day, was at a jewelry store. he was going to get a present for Bulma. "She already has an engagement ring and a wedding ring." Vegeta said. "So it can't be a ring. It has to be a necklace." He was talking to the clerk. The clerk showed him all the different necklaces he could get with real diamonds in them. "I don't think I like any of these." He said, even though Bulma had been looking at them a week ago and wanted them all,"I think I'll get her something else." He was turning to go out, when a strange charectar stepped in the door. He pulled out a gun. "This is a stick up!" He said. Nobody move!" Vegeta continued walking. "I don't have time for this." He said. "Outta my way." Then Vegeta realized what the guy was doing. "Hey!" He said. He charged up a powerball. The man was terrified at this...'light thingy' growing out of Vegeta's hand, so he shot 3 times. They all hit Vegeta in the left leg and he pitched to the ground with his leg shattered. Vegeta screamed and powered up, then he shot a series of Gologan Fires at the Burglar, killing him as soon as the first one hit. "That stupid F*ck*r!" Vegeta roared. "He shot my leg! He HURT my leg!" He tried to pick up his leg so he could examine the damage in his leg and spandex, but his leg woulden't respond. The clerk was on the phone with an ambulance. Vegeta wondered why. "My leg's just a littler hurt." He said. His voice came out croaky. "Get off that phone, fat baldy." The man kept talking. Vegeta lifted up his head and looked at him leg. Ity was in a strange 'z' shape and was bleeding everywhere. He almost swooned and fainted, but he didn't.  
  
"I need out of here for one day." Trunks said to Bonerz. he was on one knee. Bonerz was amused that Trunks was kneeling to him for something. "Why would I do that for you?" Bonerz asked. "Your parents didn't pay the fee for days off." "That's the thing!" Trunks said. "My dad broke his leg, he's in the hospital and I WANT OUT!" he was so angry he considered blowing off Bonerz' head. "I'll pay the fee." trunks said. "I got money!" Bonerz was suprised at the amount of money the kid pulled out. 3 thousand. "You still haven't paid for the damages you caused on the school grounds." Bonerz said. "You can't pay me when you owe already. Plus--the parents have to pay it." Trunks sighed. "I'll pay you....double." The fee was 50 dollars. He pulled out a hundred. Bonerz looked faintly interested, but shook his head. "I'll pay.....triple." He looked even more interested, but shook his head. "I'll pay you........quadroople!" Bonerz nodded and grabbed the money from Trunks. He put the fee in the fee basket and took the extra for himself, shoving it in his pocket. "Deal." he said. Trunks began to fly up into the air, going to blast out of a window. Bonerz got up off his swiveling chair. He pointed a shaking finger at Trunks. "Just what are you?" He said. "You can....fly? Your weird! A freak of nature! Stay away from me!!!" Trunks lowered. "Ooppsss...I forgot I'm not supposed to fly in front of people. Sorry I have to do this..." He grabbed a candle holder and bashed Bonerz in the head to knock him out. "Hopefully you won't remember anything." Trunks said. "Or hopefully the police will think you were going nuts." And Trunks decided to use the door so the story woulden't match up.  
  
"Get me out of here!" Vegeta said, struggling in a stretcher as they wheeled him into the emergency room. "I'm fine! I can fly to get around!" "He's obviously delerious!" The doctor shouted. "Get me some Morphine before we take him into surgery!" Vegeta was bewildered. "What? I don't need surgery! I'm fine! Just let me go beat the Sh*t out of those robbers that shot me!" A nurse was sopping up blood that was coming out of Vegeta's leg. Vegeta kicked and she flew into a wall, and pain exploded through his leg. "OWCH!" He screamed. He looked at his leg. The bullet holes were more visible now that there wasn't as much blood because she sopped it up. "We'll need a blood transfusion." The doctor said. "I need to know what type of blood he takes." A nurse stuck a long needle into the vein in the crook of Vegeta's elbow. "OW!" Vegeta said. He slapped at the needle, but when the doctors tried to hold him down, he let them. The nurse, after getting blood, ran into a testing room with the needle vile full of it. They wheeled Vegeta into an operating room. "We're going to put you to sleep with some gas so you won't feel anything." The doctor said. They tried to put a big ugly mask on his face. "Get that off of me! I--" They shoved it over his face so his voice was muffled. They flipped a switch and some sort of smelly gas started coming into the mask. "Count backward from 100." The doctor said. "By the time you get to 95, you'll be asleep."  
  
* * *  
  
"54321....0. I'm at zero. I thought you said I'd be asleep at 95." The doctor had an openmouthed glare. "This man won't go to sleep! His nervous system is amazing!" He put the gas on high. "Sir, if you don't go to sleep soon, we'll have to cut you while your awake with nothing but anesteshia!" Vegeta shrugged. He was getting a little woozy from the higher gas, but nothing special. "Is that the best you got?" Vegeta said. He didn't want to be cut while he was awake. A nurse shoved a long needle into his skin. It was filled with some fluid that would make him sleep. Then, his eyes grew heavy and he FINALLY went to sleep.  
  
"What?!" Bulma screamed into the phone. "What in the hell? You say Vegeta got shot in the leg three times?" She was talking to a doctor on the phone. "Yes, the marriage liscense in his billfold says he's your husband, so we decided to call you." Bulma was angry. "Why'd he do a stupid thing like that?" She asked. "He refused to yeild to some burglar. Then, after the burglar shot him, witness claimed he killed the guy with no weapons or without touching him. They say a light of some kind killed the guy, but we figure the burglar died of natural causes and the witnesses are crazy " Bulma thought Vegeta was an idiot. "His leg is shattered to peices." The doctor said. "He just got out of surgery to get out the bullets and set it straight and give him a blood transfusion. But the weirdest thing happened. His blood was a type of blood we'd never seen before. It's almost like he was a different species!" "Yeah, that'd be the day...woulden't it?" Bulma asked. "What type of blood did you give him? Or did you idiots leave him to die?" The doctor decided to pay no attention to the comment. "Ummm....his blood was closest to type 'o', so that's what we gave him." Bulma wrote down the room number and hospital so she could go gripe at Vegeta for doing something so stupid, then she hung up. "You know what Vegeta did?" She asked Akurei. "What?" Akurei asked. "Hurry. I'm watching TV." Bulma rolled her eyes. "He confronted a burglar and the dumb*ss got shot." Bulma said. He got shot threee times in the leg, so I guess we better see him. The doc said he called Trunks on his cell while he was in the ambulance."So they got up to go, But Bulma was still as mad at Vegeta as ever. (Oh, and through all that, Bulla was staying with ChiChi, okay?)  
  
Trunks went into Vegeta's room. he was laying on the bed, all wrapped up in the hosxpital blanket. "hey Trunks." he said. "They put a cast on so I can't see where they cut me. Stupid B*st*rds." Then, the door swung open on it's hinges, banging against the wall. Bulma, companioned with Kilo and Akurei walked in. 


End file.
